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My husband and I are currently doing IUI's with donor sperm after 4 years of trying and treatments for him. The donor was absolutely his idea. IVF/ICSI was our only option and neither of us were "feeling" that as an option. Of course, it took me some time to get over the fact that we couldn't have our biological child. After we decided that the donor was the way to go, I started to get excited again about something that was just really becoming a bad situation. We BOTH became excited again. My husband, like you, could love any child under any circumstances.
I feel bad for you two. I think you're caught in a vicious circle. You really need to get your heads in the same place before you make any decisions. You seem like an amazing, supportive husband. Good luck to you!
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