[Gemmabean]

Greetings girls,

Update: I have been away awhile, I have been very depressed about not being able to get and stay pregnant. And since I turned 43 this year, well, I've pretty much lost all hope. It is difficult for me to be supportive of you all while I am so terribly depressed so I've stayed away. I have been to the deep pit of dispair.

Well, I recently had a call from my Aunt who works in a NICU and until recently she thought we didn't have kids because we didn't WANT kids (I HATE that people assume that!) She lives on the other side of the country so we don't have much contact.

Anyway, she said that in her NICU, unwanted newborns get abandoned, and would we be interested in adopting one because the only cost is the attorney fee.

So, I'm ever so happy to report that we are waiting to adopt a newborn!!!

I'm kinda freakin out because I really hit rockbottom about two weeks ago. Fortunately I sought medical help and she referred me to a counselor who has started helping me deal with moving on with my life without children. So now I'm feeling a little MANIC as you can imagine.

We have to write a brief letter about ourselves and I am of course including that we've been TTC for 8 years now, had some IF treatment and 3 MCs. So OBVIOUSLY we want a family.

So we have to get our letter to my aunt, and then we wait. She is VERY optimistic that we won't have to wait long.

I'm still in shock!

She says that because she's been there so long, she can put us on the top of the pile!

You just never know what route you can/will take to motherhood.

It's a very surreal feeling, it's a little like being pregnant and not knowing when I am due...

So, I just wanted to share with you all. I hope you are all well and having success with IVF. I do think of you often and miss you. But it just got to the point where it was too upseting for me to visit here, and I didn't wanna bring everyone down.

Love and hugs,
Julie