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I know it seems selfish when you look at other pregnant women/couples and you can't feel happy. But I think it happens to all women who are in our positions. I want to be happy for them, it isn't that they don't deserve it, everyone deserves it. I know when I start to be happy for others, I let my own guard/wall down and I am equally as sad for myself. It is my defense mechanism to keeping myself sane while everyone around me is pregnant. I work in a call center where it seems there is a baby shower every week of the year. I laugh I smile I say congratulations, I mean it, but I still have to push it out from behind the mask I have to wear.
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