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I completely understand where you are coming from. We kept our IF from everyone but my immediate family (my husband's family is generally not supportive and entirely too talkative) so we heard the baby question all the time without them even realizing the pain they were causing. The pain was horrible, especially after we found out it was my husband AND me who had fertility issues. I stayed away from all baby related events and do not regret it to this day. I wasn't emotionally ready to see it and I did what I had to do to stay sane. Sometimes it was all I could do to go to work and function. Yes, we have since adopted and I love my family, but it takes a lot of time to work through the IF, and I still have my moments. Feel what you feel and know that it's ok to feel that way. Also don't feel bad for saying that you don't want to talk about it when the subject comes up. True friends will understand.
You both mentioned not having the money for adoption, what about adoption through foster care? Babies are possible, though it is true that many are over the age of three. Our friends did it and their son's adoption cost $500 total.
We are all here for you, and my prayers are with you.
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