I'm new here, but your posting really spoke to me. Many years ago, I was in a long-term relationship (8 years.) I really loved that man, and we got along really well, but he was uninterested in marriage or children. For many years I felt that I was lucky to love someone who loved me, and that was enough. After a while, though, I began to feel that there was perhaps someone else out there, who would want a move towards a future together. I broke up with this man, and spent several years alone. As I was reaching my mid-30s by this point, I had to accept that childlessness was perhaps my fate. I did still hope for love, though.
good luck!!!!
I reached a point where I thought to myself, I will take any decent guy. Do you know this song,
Code Monkey? The kind of guy you wouldn't necessarily think twice about, but who might just be a nice guy with a decent job that has some inner depth that you could love. I don't know if you have ever practiced yoga, but I had a fabulous instructor around this same time, and the intention she always set for her practice was always "to open my heart to give and receive love more freely" which I just think is great. I adapted that philosophy, to accept love, either romantic or fraternal, or whatever.
And one day I ran into an old acquaintance, someone who was a little short and allergic to my cats, who didn't fit my "list" of requirements, who is basically just a "guy," but who likes to do the same things as me, who takes care of me, and appreciates when I take care of him, and most importantly, someone who makes me laugh.
I tell you all this, because I didn't think that your question was, "should I marry Mr. Wrong to have a baby" but maybe, "should I take the plunge with someone descent, if he comes along." I do think there is a certain amount of settling when it comes to choosing a lifemate, if for no other reason than you are making a decision that you don't think there is someone else better out there. If you reasonably think there is, then don't do it, you will be miserable. But if you're pretty sure, and it is someone you can live with, and I mean that in all senses of the word, then perhaps you will be happy.