[Bullywrinkles]

Samantha,
to the club! Trying again has brought on such a wave of emotions. The sadness about the recent loss, fear of going through another loss as well as hope for a new begining and uncertainity about what is ahead for us. But I will be for you and all of us to hold on to our stregnth and courage. Best of luck to you!

Fossie,
Thanks for sharing your story and and the words of encouragement!

Dre,
How are you holding up?

I am doing well. There was a show on Oprah (corny, I know) about spirituallity that gave me a new way of thinking about my situation. The message that I took from it was that when we are in a crisis we have to look within ourselves and ask "what qualities would I need to posses in order to endure this?". I found that idea intresting because it helped me to focus on my personal growth since our loss. I can list the quailites I have had to cultivate and although I wish I never had to go through this I see how much stronger I am now. The other message I took away was "Let the old pass, because the new is going to be even better then you could have ever imagined." For me that means it is ok to let go of what happened and I will always love our angel. Despite what I had planned it is ok to let go and hope for happiness. In my heart I know that this is not the end for us and I know that we are going to be ok.

We went to the Dr. last week and have a new treatment plan together. We will be trying natrually for a few cycles and then if that does not work, back on the clomid. I also now take baby asprin and prometrium. So, now we will see. I feel so much better after going in. He also helped me with my fears about the next pregnancy by offering ultrasounds and bloodwork on request if that will help me to relax. I am hopeful right now and although it is a big step I am glad we are here. to all of you!