[Gemmabean]

We received our home study report on 12.24.08, what a Christmas present. I just realized I've not posted in a long itme.

I have also completed our profile and it has been given to our social worker and our social worker. I also sent it to my aunt who works in a maternity ward at a hospital.

I have a few other places to send our profile.

I'm starting to become hopeless again. I guess I was ok while we were busy and working on our home study.

But now the waiting, with no end in sight. I think the state of the economy isn't helping either. There is rumor at my office that they are going to take away our health insurance, so I've been freaking out about that, we were already wonderig how we'd afford $200 a month for health insurance to add a child, in addition to the cost of raising a child.

I'm just freakin out.

I know when we have a child, we will be fine. But right now I have too much time on my hands, to much time to "what if" what if no one ever picks us...

Thanks for letting me vent. I know you understand. I guess I'm just suffering a low point. I was sick last week and I suppose that doesn't help.

Can you believe it's already been 5 months since we started this process? I guess I feel like it should just take 4 more, like a normal pregnancy, but it's the "no end in sight" that's getting to me.

Thanks again.

Love and hugs,
Julie