[Bullywrinkles]

you guys! I felt so bad yesterday and was so worried that Dre would not get what I mean't. It is a relief to see you all understand. Today I have decided to stick with a positive attitude. Its not like the are a finite number of babies to be born each year and just because someone else just got blessed I now will not be. There are more then enough to go around for everyone. Plus, I realized that if I do get my bfp those ladies would be in my support group. I have realized that since our loss I just am a bit more sensitive to things then I was before. And that is ok. But, I can't get too wrapped up in the unfairness of it all. It turns into a downward spiral and I end up having a huge pity party for one. I sometimes forget that others are in different stages of this journey and take it personally when they are not in the same place as me. Anyhow, thanks for listening and allowing me to be free that moment. The green eyed monster is under control ...for now!

WGA,
Yes, those with a herd of children...ummm hard to sympathize sometimes. It is different for everone but come on already. But, I am sure that she feels she has to restain her true feelings sometimes when posting because it is unusual, and that sucks for her in a way too. Why oh why can't we wave our magic wand and everyone get thier wish?

Dre,
You make me laugh! I knew you would read it...Who wouldn't right?! But I was oh so worried I crossed that line. I am glad you know my frustration was totally directed at these "newbies". Mainly because I don't really know thier story or struggles. Once I connect with a person I can't help but want nothing but great things for them. I am sorry if I gave you any doubts. But it seems like you got it. And by the way, how are you doing? I think you should go in for another Beta too. Last time my OB only wanted to do 2 but I came in for the 3rd anyways. I explained that I was anxious and if that simple test put me at ease even for a minute it was worth it. They obliged, and insurance even covered it. So, if it makes you feel better, why not?

Bits,
to our group! Words can't express how sorry I am for what you have gone through. I just hope you are managing to get through this dark time. Our group is small, but we totally understand how painful a loss is. And we are all in different stages of TTC again. Some are still waitng to "get the green light", some are in the process, and one has even become pregnant. We all know how once you were pregnant, miscarriages happen to "other people". And of course the shock and devestation when it happens to you. That is why we are a unique group, still fresh wounds and unfortunately the "pregnancy virginity" is gone. TTC again brings forth some complex and surprising emotions. But, we are here for you and one another as this has been declared a safe place to share your dark moments and struggles as well as your excitement and joy. It is great that you are taking time to get healthy again and connect with DH. After my m/c I bought a new treadmill, and boy has that thing gotten good use. I know I feel so much better on the days I work out and eat right. As far as the nurse saying "at least you can get pregnant", I am not sure what she really means. She may not realize that although she means to be comforting in that statement, you have experinced a great loss. You are heartbroken and a comment like that is really not helpful. Hug to you. I hope you stick around and that we can help you through this time.

BTW, ok so I know I have this bad habit of writing novels here. I am really going to try and keep that under control from now on. Have a great day!