[kirstyloo]

I have known 9 people that went through the process of adoption. 2 tried domestic adoption, 1 tried a domestic adoption but switched to an international adoption, and 6 did international adoptions (China, China, Korea, & Guatemala). One of the two domestic adoptions went through on the first try; however, in the other case, the birth mother changed her mind after the baby was born. They haven't attempted to try again after the lost their child. Another friend started with domestic adoption; however, they were concerned about the health conditions of the infants that they were offered. It was horrible to turn down a child because it was born at 24 weeks or had drug withdraw problems. They ultimately were successful with international adoption. Of the 4 friends who started out with international adoption, 2 have been successful while 2 have been caught in legal tape. In the last two instances, the couple spent years waiting for their child and invested significant emotional and financial resources; however, the adoptions were stopped mid-process.


Interestingly, my friends who were more successful went through adoption between 1995 - 2003. Only one has been successful since then. International adoption appears to be getting harder. It would be nice if some organization would keep track of the information so that we could access it to help us make a choice.


I'm adopted so I did bring it up with my DH when we had troubles TTC; however, he wasn't very keen on it. I didn't push it because I've had three people close to me loose a child that THEY HAD MET either in person or by picture because someone changed their mind or a policy changed. I've had two different RE make the crack about the risks associated with IVF and that there is always being a baby at the end of the adoption. Each time, I've quickly corrected them. There is always a baby; however, there is very real risk that the baby won't come home with you. In both cases, they looked shocked and squirmed.