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Originally Posted by maybebaby1
WOW!! Thank you all for your responses!! They sure were helpful!  |
I sympathize with your frustration at the lack of response, but it was a little confusing that your topic title asked about pics for *egg* donors, while your post was about picking*sperm* donors.
I don't think there are any easy answers, but perhaps you can find another sperm bank with a flat rate and have more luck. If you have to pay a la carte for pics, I suppose the way to get the most bang for your buck is to take the time to rule out donors you know wouldn't interest you based on the written descriptions typically included in the free short profiles, like mismatched ethnicities or eye color or whatever physical traits are particularly important to you. If you only want someone with black hair, blue eyes, and between 5'10" to 6'0" tall, make sure you don't waste money paying for pics or extended profiles on donors that already fail to meet your criteria.
When it comes to donor picking, whether sperm or egg (and DW and I have done both), I think it's fairly common to start off with a pretty demanding set of criteria that have to be met. In very lucky circumstances, that perfect match is found the first time out. More often, though, reality sets in that a "perfect" match is hard to find, so you end up prioritizing what really matters and what's not so important, because it sometimes comes down to either choosing from the options available to you, or giving up your shot at parenthood because that perfect donor just never materialized. I've never seen anyone say, "I want a baby that looks nothing like me or my spouse!", but a little extra flexibility on some traits can really enlarge the pool of possible donors. For example, being more flexible on traits like height and blood type will add to the possibilities even if you're set on specific eye and hair characteristics. If you aim for "could plausibly look as related as tv siblings usually do" instead of "DH's exact double", it's an easier target to hit.
Good luck!