I'm sure these are posted all the time, but when someone says something dumb, it always seems like I have to get it out, even though it's the same old, same old.
Two days ago, DH was at church, and someone came up to him and said, directly to him and no one else, "Our church is just so fertile, isn't it?" (We have 5 who are pregnant right now, and 2 who just had babies.) It would be annoying, but not so bad if this person didn't know about our struggles, BUT HE DOES! I'm really hoping it slipped his mind (he's forgetful), because I can't think of any other reason someone would say that to someone else knowing full well that they're struggling with TTC. To top it off, DH is having a hard time with it lately, because he's the one with the problem, and we found that out relatively recently. So I'm sure that didn't feel good for him to hear.
Just to add on to that, here are other gems that I've heard, some far more than once:
"Just relax."
"Try harder."
"You need to get on that already!" (Baby-making, that is.)
"It will happen when it's God's will."
"Maybe it's not God's will."
"Have you ever thought about adoption?"
"Are you the only one here trying to keep her figure?" (Another church comment
)
"You can have my kid. No, you don't want kids."
"You're impatient. It hasn't been very long." (It had been a year at the time.)
"How about I tell you all the awful things about pregnancy. Then you won't want to be pregnant."
"When are you going to have kids?"
"Your mom wants to be a grandma!"
"Maybe God's waiting for "friend" to move out." (We had a friend living with us for awhile. It's been a almost a year since he moved out.)
"The problem I have with IVF, and all fertility treatments, is that is makes the world less fertile."
(That comment is so unbelievably ignorant...but we all know that.)
I've also had wonderful support, but unfortunately, that's fewer and farther between than the hurtful comments.
A couple of super-nice things:
A friend sent me flowers at work the day after we found out DH's motility was 0-1%.
Another friend sent me a card saying that if I needed meals or anything at all, I can come to her anytime.
Those two things really meant a lot to me. And funny enough, neither have dealt with infertility. They are both just very understanding.
Anyone else? Good or bad.