[PGirl28]

Hi everyone. I decided to find a forum and talk to people who may be going or have gone through similar issues.

My husband and I have been trying for a year now and sort of saw this coming. Here's the story-

When he was a kid the doctors told his parents that he was at risk for testicular cancer. The doctor's removed one testicle and he had one descended.

He told me early on in our relationship about this and that he probably had little to know sperm. Oh, and he has to take regular testosterone shots.

Anyways, so yes, he got his sperm count results today and it was sort of heartbreaking to hear the doctor say "there's no sperm."

I don't know why I'm so upset- I knew this could happen but I guess I was holding onto that chance that we'd conceive a miracle baby.

Of course I love my husband dearly and we've already had great at-length talks about our fertility options. I have to say I feel bad for him- he's said before it makes him feel like less of a man and I just wish he knows I'm 100% committed to our marriage and want to work with him to add to our family.

I really want to get pregnant though and while we've discussed artificial insemination, he isn't really behind that option because he feels the baby wouldn't really be his. I've tried to talk to him about how it's just one sperm and to me it wouldnt feel like any less of "his child." But I can see why he feels that way.

Has anyone been through something similar to this? I'm waiting to get the referral to the fertility clinic- but Im stumped as to our options. I assume our only options are either artificial insemination or adoption.

I just feel like now we've got the "real work" to do and that the next road ahead for adding a child to our family is going to be a bumpy one.

My biggest fears now though are that I will find out I've got fertility problems and then adoption will be our only option.