[angsea]

Ever since I was first diagnosed with PCOS in 2005, I've struggled to really understand it. When I tell people I have PCOS, I have a difficult time explaining exactly what it is and how it affects its victims. Rarely does anyone understand exactly how serious, devastating and even life-threatening it is.

Time and time again I have googled, 'PCOS' or 'What is PCOS' or 'Cures for PCOS' - just trying to really get my head wrapped around it... and the same phrases always jump out at me. Male androgens, lack of progesterone, ovarian cysts, insulin resistance, hirituism, acne, obesity, heart disease, diabetes... infertility.

Then I get angry. 10% of women have this terrible affliction and yet no one seems to understand what is is, what it does or how to fix it. There's no cure. There are no charity dinners for victims of PCOS. There are no fundraisers, no media coverage, no hype whatsoever. Millions upon millions of women are walking around infertile, obese, insulin resistant, at risk for heart disease and high blood pressure... hundreds of thousands will die... yet no one seems to care, or even notice.

I'm mad that I have PCOS, a horrible and incurable disease. I'm devastated by this illness. I will have to take medicine for the rest of my life, I may develop serious and life-threatning health complications - but does anyone care?

Why is this disease so little-known? Why aren't more people working to find the cure?

For years, PCOS has robbed me. It has robbed me of beauty, energy, happiness, good health, femininity and motherhood. It makes me angry that I do not fully understand my own disease - that there simply isn't enough research for me to reach that understanding. They still don't know why we get it, they still don't understand why it effects women differently... and of course, they still haven't found a cure.

I'm sorry to sound so negative girls. It's just that for the hundreth time today, I tried to figure out more about my disease and ran into all the same walls I always do. I want to know why.

I know you all feel my frustation.

- Angel