[colsxjack]

My wife is currently pregnant and going to give birth any day to our first. The child was conceived through IVF with donor sperm.
Yes, it would have been nice if we were just able to get pregnant. And yes, it would have been extra nice if we both were able to give the child our DNA. But we couldn't. Or maybe possibly could have with a lot more money and more extensive and invasive procedures.

Anyway. I am extremely happy that my wife is pregnant and that we are going to have a child. She wanted to experience pregnancy if possible and I wanted that for her too. We both very much wanted to have a family. I am not bothered at all with the fact that some other guys genetic material was used to impregnate my wife. I very much see and feel the child is mine. I am much happier that we used donor sperm and not donor embryos. I am glad the child will have my wife's genetics. I hope it has her beautiful eyes.

Maybe you can help hook your husband up with some support. Either an online group or the therapist through the fertility clinic. Maybe it may just take some time or maybe he has some specific aspects he needs to work through to make it comfortable with him.

As for the aspect that it may seem like someone else had sexual relations with my wife. The whole procedures and such that needs to happen to get pregnant in a fertility clinic has not one iota of sexy attached to it. I was in the room for every one of all of those procedures and it would take a great imagination to even link sexual activity to "how it all happened".

Whether we went for DS or donor embryos or adoption....either scenario still means I do not have a genetic link to the child. I couldn't imagine saying to my wife that if I cant have a genetic link to the child than neither can she.