Sorry for your loss
I am so sorry for your loss...and I think you should give yourself a break. It is completely normal and natural for you to have all of these feelings you are having. You are absolutely due the tears and hurt that you feel...you have been through a hell that alot of woman you may talk to will never be able to understand. I...on the other hand...do understand. At the age of 41...having tried to get pregnant since I was 24...suddenly became pregnant. You can only imagine the excitement I was living in. Unfortunately I lost my daughter in my 5th month. I woke up in the middle of the night...in labor...and before the ambulance could get to me I delivered her right there in my bedroom. This happened in February 2002...and still to this day it haunts me. Yes...it has gotten easier over the years...to learn to deal with it and live with it...but I know she's in a wonderful happy place where she is now and is at peace...someday I will see her again. I have come to believe that everything in life...no matter how horrible and traumatic...happens for a reason. Sometimes we are able to figure out the reason...but sometimes we will never know why...we just have to believe it was just meant to be. Mourn your lost child...you have every right to...but also remember there are others like myself out there...that honestly do understand and care.
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