[gracesmom]

I was getting dinner ready tonight and I had on the TV. I think it was Extra or some other entertainment show and there was a segment w/ Courtney Cox and how she is involved in spreading the awareness of this one disease. I forget what it is called but these children are born with skin so thin that the smallest touch can cause blistering and tearing. She has a friend who has a little boy who is affected by this. The reporter asked her as a mom if she felt like she dodged a bullet by not having a child with this disease and she said she feels like the luckiest person in the world. And, you know what?? I too am the luckiest person in the world!!

I need to stop letting the fact that I am struggling with IF again run my entire life. IF has been totally consuming me for almost 2 years now and for 3 years before the birth of my daughter. I need to stop focusing on the fact that I do not have another baby, that my daughter doesn't have a sibling, and nothing we've done is working. I HAVE A HEALTHY, SMART, AND BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER!! I have to STOP looking at every pregnant woman already pushing a stroller and wondering how old her child is, how far apart her kids will be, and if she had any trouble getting pregnant. I need to stop being so angry that my loser BIL is having ANOTHER daughter with his now ex-girlfriend. I need to stop waiting for the phone call from my SIL and my cousin-in-law telling me they are expecting #2. I NEED TO BE SO THANKFUL THAT I HAVE A HEALTHY, SMART, AND BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER!!

Wow, I truly feel better now. I will not stop trying for another miracle, but I will not let it run my life. To quote CreoleInDC.........."It is what it is."

I have to keep saying to myself, whatever happens, happens. I will hug my daughter extra tight and be thankful that I can listen to her say "I love you more than anything mommy!"

I will also continue to pray for all of the fabulous women on these boards who are struggling with IF. To those of us already blessed with a child (or children), I hope we will someday be able to feel as if our families are complete. To those of you struggling for #1.........I PRAY that you will be blessed with a child(ren) and be able to feel the pure joy that it brings!!

-Angela