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My DH and I are using donor sperm due to a genetic trait that he carries, which we did not want to pass on. It was a long decision process, but I really want to have biological children and this seems the best solution. We picked out characteristics we both wanted and found a great donor. We won't be telling anyone or the baby, not b/c we're ashamed, but I don't see any reason not to consider DH the baby's "real" father. Why make things more complicated? I don't think it would do any good/make the child feel any better, and I know DH feels better knowing that no one knows any different.
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