[ckmerc]

well...the roller coaster continues... we went in for our 10.5 week apt. no heartbeat. baby pased on a 6.5 weeks. We had no negative symptoms and were looking forward to hearing the heart of our baby.

the look on my wifes face today tore me apart. they removed the remains from her and will analyze the results....so while waiting for them I thought I would get checked out again (hopfully with better results than the last)

..I have another test at a much better facility next week and we will go in to her doc. with my new results and her results and see what we will see.

I am more angry than anything at this point. my wife does not deserve this...I am used to having bad luck...(cronic neck pains from a vertebre fusion at 15yr old, divorce w/ first wife, bad semen results-prior post, and just had a hemmoridectimy last week...and now this.)

Why does she have to endur this! so God willing..we will be tyring again in late Dec.

so...in 2.5 mths time I went from finding out we probably will not be able to conceive naturally (because of me) to being pregnant (naturally) to having a "silent" misscarriage...oh and did I mention that I had a hemmoridectimy last week? I am only 33...wtf?

my apologies if this post seems very "male typical" but I am just venting....have to remain strong for my wife.

For all of you going through fertility problems...I realize you probably have gone through much more than we have...so please understand I am not trying to compare what has happend to us to any of you.

We just had a horribly past few months ...I have to keep it together for my wife...so my tears will fall as I ride in to work alone each day.

thanks for reading...chuck