[nedege24]

This is my story,
I’ve been married for 5yrs, ttc for 4, say 41/2.My DH have two sons from his pass life, a 21 and 18 yrs old. we talked about having a child every day in the beginning, did every test possible to me , because most of our doctors without even looking at him taught the problem was me,of course he already proved his manhood in their minds with his two sons.For years no result, until our present Dr. said there is nothing wrong with me, at lease medically , so he decided to do a semen analysis on DH, only to find out he has 4% morphology which we further learned stem from him having verecoceles. Dr. then suggested that we do 1 round of IUI,( mine you DH had the Surgery in October 2006) if that fails we move to IVF, in the office he was fine with it. After 3 months of wait we finally started, I was taking my shots, the morning of insemination he says to me that he can, he did not know how to tell me before, he feels like less of a man because of his inability to reproduce, and he feels like I’m not being understanding and supportive of the fact that he did the surgery, and he thinks we should at lease try naturally for another year before trying to do anything else, even though that is understandable I still feel like this should have been discussed before hand, but still before all this time, money, stress and pain. So of course I packed my stuff and went back to mom.

He apologized; I am back home, now we’re waiting till the end of 2007 to give the surgery a chance. And I can’t help feeling like the entire thing is just wrong or unfair in some way, I don’t know any more, what I feel, it could be emptiness or longing.
Don’t you think we should use every option and if all else fail then we know we still have the possibility of improvement in the morphology.

Sorry for the length of this and thanks for listening, it feels better telling you than telling myself for the hundred time.