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Originally Posted by Just~A~
Marion,
I struggled with IF since we started ttc in early 1995. For some reason I chose NOT to purse more aggressive treatments at the time (i.e. IUI) at age 28. I was clinging to the idea that I wanted to conceive like "everyone else." I thought I would wait until my DH finished his Ph.D. and we moved to wherever life would take us. Unfortunately, we moved (in '99), and the state does not cover IF treatment. So there we were, ready to do whatever it takes, and we had no money for treatments. At this point, I had to cope with the envy, jealousy, anger and all those feelings you mentioned above. We chose to let people believe we didn't want kids. I made myself believe I didn't want kids. I would hear kids scream and have fits at Wal-mart, and think, "I'm so glad I don't have to put up with that!" We went to concerts and out to eat, and lived life however we wanted. We adopted 2 dogs... We had all but given up when I got a GREAT job that allowed us to save up money for a house, and then saved for some IF treatment.
We had decided, though, if 3 rounds of IUI didn't work, we would accept life as child-free (not childless!) -- focus on our dogs, our careers, our house...
So, I wanted to say, I understand. I completely respect the women who continue to try and won't give up, despite years of treatment, etc. The misery of trying and trying w/ no success is not something I could have done. I feel fortunate and grateful that it appears I will have a child (I have to go through delivery, though everything seems fine now), but if I hadn't, I would have moved on - same as you.
Also, Marion, do people try to get you to adopt? I always hated that: "Why don't you adopt? I know someone who adopted and ended up pregnant!" Adoption wasn't for us. At least not of the human kind. I think we would have gotten another dog. :-)
Best wishes to you, Marion.
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