Hi, I'm the author of the book mentioned above (Waiting for Daisy) and was lurking around this site when i saw your post on partial molar pg. I can tell you a little about it, having had one.
It's different than a full molar pg for one thing. A full molar forms when a sperm fertilizes an empty egg. There is never a fetus, just bits of placental tissue. In a partial molar pregnancy, two sperm or a double-headed sperm fertilize an egg (I said my husband's sperm had gotten impatient and got aggressive). Instead of forming twins, something goes wrong and although there is a fetus, it is chromosomally abnormal and cannot survive.
Okay. I warn you: this part is creepy but it is so much less of a risk for a partial molar pg that it's almost hyper-caution of the drs. to worry about it. The issue with molar pregnancies is that cells left behind after the D&C can grow independently and then need to be treated with a form of chemotherapy (don't freak out--this is so unlikely to happen, and anyway you didn't have a full molar pregnancy so keep reading and don't be scared). It's a very low-dose chemo that doesn't cause hair loss or nausea. So how likely is this to happen? NOT VERY. In a FULL molar pg it's about a 1 in 5 chance. In a partial molar? No one really knows, but the chances are FAR FAR FAR lower. But understandably, that is horrible, depressing news that a person takes hard. (I'd also been treated for breast cancer a few years earlier so I felt my body was really out to get me). How could you not be totally devastated?
The reason they won't let you get pg again is that the way the dr. tells that things have gone the wrong way is by taking your blood every week (and progressively less often) for a period of time. If your HCG goes up and you're not pg they know something is wrong. If you did get pg they wouldn't be able to tell if the HCG was up because of the molar or because of the new pregnancy, and it would be dangerous to the new pregnancy if you had a recurrence of the molar while you were pg again.
So how long do you wait? Wiht a FULL MOLAR they say a year. With a partial they really don't know. My dr. said a year was WAY too conservative, though. She recommended six months. That was devastating news to me as I'm sure it is for you. just awful. And I'm so sorry you hvae to go through it. But YOU WILL GET THROUGH IT. And you should ask your ob to get you whatever documentation she can about the REAL risk to you vs. going ahead earlier and TTC. Then you can way the costs and benefits.
Finally, on the issue of having a whole new molar pg: super, super rare. Like less than one percent. Especially with a partial molar. A partial molar is SO MUCH LESS SERIOUS. Please remember that. So with all you will inevitably worry about? Don't tear yourself up about that one. It's just so unlikely.
It took us six years and lots of loss and stress and strain to our relationship etc. etc. to have our daughter, who is now 3 1/2. I empathize with everything every single one of you has gone through and is going through. I wrote the book hoping it would be a friend and companion to women going thorugh this, that it would be inspiring and remind you that YOU AREN'T CRAZY and also provide a few laughs along the way...I also thought it might be something you could hand to friends & family who don't get it. If they read this? They'll get it, I promise.
Feel free to check out my web site and email me with any questions.
Best of luck to all of you.
--Peggy Orenstein
peggy orenstein