Shawna - I TOTALLY understand where you are coming from. Going through a loss is hard enough. But when the miracle of being pregnant again happens, it seems as though we have to hold all of our emotions in because we are waiting for the other shoe to drop. I lost my little one at 7 weeks. When I became pregnant again, I was always cautious and just like you...I was always checking to see if there was blood. Once I got past the 7th week, I felt really releaved. But the "freaking out" didn't start to go away until around 10-12 weeks. I still think about the little bean that I lost and when the due date came around I was very sad but knew that it just wasn't meant to be at that time. It was more dificult since I wasn't pregnant at the time but I believed that one day I would get my chance again. We are all robbed of our "innocence" after a loss and it's hard to get that back, if we ever do. But we have to work through that. That is what makes us stronger during the tough times.
I wish you all the luck in the world and hope you have a happy and healthy pregnancy.
