[Tracey23]

Sunny - I wish I didn't have to deal with family conflicts right now as I would love to keep ttc, or at least one part of me would. But we just had a family tradegy, my aunt recently died and my father is having a really hard time with it so I am getting pressure from my mother to go home, which was always the plan before, but now that I am at a fertility clinic I don't know what to do. I hate that it makes me sound selfish that I would rather ttc then go home and be with my family, I actually almost mentioned to my mother that they should come over here instead so that I didn't have to choose, as soon as the thought entered my head I wanted to hit myself over the head for being so selfish. At times it's like having a person inside my head that is so not me, and I actually wonder where she comes up with these stupid ideas. Don't worry I'm not unstable or anything, I just have my masters is psychology and as a result I spend way too much time inside my own head, to the point I actually have disagreements with myself. I just have to shake my head at times, being an only child or having the ability to self analyse your self is really not all that advantageous especially when it comes to making decisions like this.

Jencat - Glad everyone understands about just rambling on at times. Really when you start to write about something you never realise how long it is until you have posted it and by then you don't want to change it. Anyway I'm doing ok, I have been talking to a friend of mine and she is helping me put everything into perspective, now all I have to do is decided if I want to continue ttc this year, at least 1 more IUI or wait until next year. Whatever I decide, I won't be rushing into it, my last cycle was kind of spur of the moment and obvivously that wasn't a healthy way for me to do anything as it almost caused me to have a mini breakdown, luckily I have come to understand the benefits of what I have gone through and hopefully that experience will help me in the future.

Best of luck to those of you who are meeting this week, it's a pity we all can't get together, but I'm sure you'll have a blase, take lots of pictures we all want to see what we're missing.