Thanks so much for the responses. This is a better forum than most infertility ones I've lurked about. The people here have been so nice even after one day, and I already have more information. Useful information. It's also great to see people that have found pathes to their goals instead of just given up and sit around being miserable. Which I find in alot of infertility groups. I dont want to give up.
MLB:
Thanks for the info, that has helped put my mind to ease a little and also gave me ideas of things to think about before we adopt. I guess adoption just seems overwhelming and it's great when someone puts it in simple terms. I know also that failed pregnancies can cause bad days of feeling inadequate, etc and that makes adoption feel even more unattainable.
Outside of the infertility issue we are both medically and psychologically sound. We are both in the IT field at the moment but studying to become registered nurses (pediatrics for me, no doubt) which appears to be a lucrative enough field.
It was also nice to know that you adopted while renting, though I do plan to purchase a home it's still a ways off before we do that. Especially with the market in my city right now, it's pretty brutal.
One thing I do have a question about, what did they want to know about relationship with family? The reason I ask is because both my fiance and I have rather difficult parents. Theyre not bad parents by any means, just very difficult and may or may not be entirely supportive to adoption, etc. I may be able to convince mine into it, but I can honestly say his parents will be very upset and probably never come around to it. However, I'm very close to several of my siblings, and he is very close to most of his cousins. We also have a strong network of friends who are more than supportive of adoption. How many people have a half dozen female friends
offer to even surrogate
We do have alot to offer to a child in the way of supportive people but just differently than some people do I suppose.
Another concern is religion - I dont believe they can legal ask about it, can they? I'm not ashamed of either of our beliefs, but I know that people can be judgemental even if its off the record. I'm Pagan by belief and he is Muslim by birth though neither of us are overly involved in either. No chanting from me, no five daily prayers from him. I guess I'm just worried how much that would unofficially effect us.
It's funny that when you begin to consider adoption you see the ways that you are different than what might be considered the "ideal" family. I know for a fact we would be good parents.
Out of curiousity, what did you guys decide about when to tell the children theyre adopted, and how to handle it?
I'll stop with the questions. Thanks for patience
Dakota:
Yey - someone my age! I do get alot of the "you have plenty of time" and "you're too young to worry about these things". But it's at this age when the desire to have a family starts. Most people that say not to worry already either have kids, or dont want them, I've discovered in my own experiences at least. That line of thought is also how people wake up one day and realize that it's too late. Anyway the more you try the more desperate you become and it's hard to not let it consume you. I'd like to adopt but foster to adoption sounds like a good plan as well. I've thought of fostering on a temporary basis, but I dont think I could do that right now. Im not sure I could willingly give the child back.
Thanks again everyone and anymore feedback is always welcome
<3
//R