Have you told your wife how you feel? Maybe you could still work things out. Tell her how you are feeling and maybe consider counseling again. It might work this time if you are willing to give it a chance. IF is very stressful on a marriage and I hate to hear that it has been so rough on you and your wife. I'm sure having to deal with your mother's illness just makes everything more difficult. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Best of luck.
