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Crushed,
I am so saddened by your posts! I wish that anything any one could say could say would be the majic words that fix it all. All I can say is many of us have been there. I have asked my Dh for a divorce 2 times after losses. I knew when I said it I did not mean it and all it did was make DH mad. We never went through with it but every time we do anything with IF I know he thinks about it. I love my husband more then anyone in life and I know he feels the same way. I am the one that feels like I am letting him down with not being able to give him a child or children. We went to counsiling and I went on my own as well. It helped but the main thing that helped was at one point my Dh grabbed me hard, pulled me to him, said scream, yell, hit me, kick, do what ever you want but to it to me and with me. I knew then that no matter what we were facing this together. We watched our best friends ( my best friend married to dh's best friend) have a baby, have issues with him being so premie and 3 years later divorce. It scared us to no end and in the end we are all very close to not being friends anymore. I lean on Dh for that now where there were times I thought I would never lean on him for anything again!
I realized it was not a big jesture I was looking for, it was a simple "I understand, I want a child too, but if that is not going to happen I just want you as you are and we will face whatever together!"
Your DW needs to find the point in life that she too understands that you love her more then the air you breathe, and you too want that child but if it is not meant to be then there are other wonderful parts of life that you can share together. In the end it takes 2 to make it work. It takes many of us ( I know for me anywya) a long time to come to that realization but in the end it made my home life and marriage much stronger. If we can face IF together there is nothing not even my In-Laws that can break us!
You will be in my prayers and thoughts and I pray that the right thing happens! You are not divorced right now so there is always hope, you have to find your way of stopping her becuase I would bet she does love you like you love her! If is ugly and destructive!
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