[InfertilityCrushed2]

Hello All,

I did take the advice. I didn't make any attempt to contact her yesterday. I was never trying to be over the top with my attempts to reconcile. She had just made it clear to me that my main fault was that I withdrew from her and the situation. So I was just trying to reassure her of my feelings for her. That I love her. That she is the one that I want to be with and that I take responsibility for those failures within our relationship. I was never trying to crowd her. However, there is a time frame here. A deadline of divorce and if she did indeed rent or buy a condo yesterday then that is in stone. Then there is no turning back so I wanted to make every effort that I could to expain in the simplest way that I would walk to the Moon for her. To leave no doubt in her mind that I loved her and wanted her forever.

Last night changed things in a way for me though. As is the case on most nights now days, I awoke at 3:30 am. However, on this occassion I prayed. Not for me, but for her. That God would take away all of her pain, anger, frustration, and hurt and that she would see clearly again. That he would take away the dark glasses of those feeling and that she would make judgements and choices with her heart and brain instead of anger. I felt better. I did come to a few conclusions about things. I LOVE MY WIFE. That God sent her to me and that we met for a reason. She was my guardian angel. The person who always kept me safe. That my outlook and perspective on life has changed entirely in the last 40 days. The 2 most important people in my life have always been my Grandfather, who always looked after me and of course my Mother because well she is my Mother. Now however I realized something. While those 2 people I owe for the past it is my WIFE who I owe my future to. She is the one that is most important from this day forward. She is the one that I want to rejoice with love and support. By being her biggest fan and a cheerleader in life. To tell her that I love her. To show her that I love her. That is what I learned last night. That she is my Angel. I suppose that my priorities have been adjusted and God took away my IF pain and anger. I now see things as they are and as I should of for along time. That if given another chance, we would make it through IF and be closer than ever before. That if we made it through this then we would be together forever.

But at the same time I also came to a sad conclusion about my DW and myself. That we may indeed be done and over. That I may have lost her for good. I just pray that I haven't but no matter what I want her pain and hurt to be taken away. I WILL ALWAYS LOVE MY DW!

Stay Safe,

InfertilityCrushed2