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Originally Posted by wewishforbaby
Today I got bad news that the 4th fertility treatment did not work and I feel like someone kicked me in the gut! It doesn't surprise me tho b/c this past 2 weeks that i've been waiting on my results has been horrible and stressful and all I've been doing is crying and getting upset....how can i create a child with this kind of upheaval...but I'm trying to keep my head up.
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Wow Wewishforbaby,
I am so sorry to hear that. I feel your pain more than ever has been possible before. I hurt for you.
I wish that I could help you or say something that would make it better. I suppose this Website has given me such a greater insight into a womans perspective on IF that when I read your post my heart actually hurt. I do hope for the best with your situation. IF is such a bad painful disease.
As for myself and my situation, yes I have tried to give her some space. The realization that I will be divorced is starting to set in. Once again last night just like so many nights before, I woke up. So I rolled over to check the clock and what do you know 2:58am. I guess the thing that really gets me about this whole situation is this...I believe that I know where I failed and why I withdrew because of IF. That today I could be such a better Husband, partner, and Father because now I see things much much more clearly. That now more than at any other point in my life I know exactly what I want. I want my wife, our children, the house, and the white flipn picket fence. The last month has just been such a wake up call about what is REALLY important in life and the future. I totally get the reasons why my wife is angry and hurt. I just wanted a chance to make it up to her. To prove that I was and I still am the guy who can make her the happiest woman in the world. That life is a journey and that I have learned one of the most important lessons yet...cherish the ones that you LOVE and tell them everyday. IF got me, and I do take responsibility for being withdrawn. However, I never wanted to be permanently away from my DW.
Wewishforbaby I do wish the best of luck to you. DO keep your chin up. There is a guy in St. Louis praying, hoping, and pulling for you and your DH. Thank you for helping me with your input during such a difficult time for yourself. That shows me alot about the person that you are inside.
Thank You Again & Stay Safe,
InfertilityCrushed2