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Originally Posted by melhowell
The emotional roller coaster of trying to have a baby is enough to put a major strain on the best of marriages. Maybe if you told her how you felt inadequate when trying to conceive, she may understand where you were coming from. She probably won't fully understand, because like I said, she probably didn't see it as YOUR problem, but she may understand how you could feel that way. You two fell in love with each other a long time ago for hundreds of reasons besides trying to make a baby. Surely you two can get back the basics of your relationship. Remember, if things work, and she wants to try again, whether a baby joins you or not, you would be investing in you future together just by trying. I may not know what I'm talking about, but I hope something I said helps.
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Hello MelHowell,
I do wish you much luck on your IF journey. Just remember that you two are the most important part of the situation. That is where I made my major mistake. I withdrew because I felt helpless in helping my DW. I just was terrible at communication. I just went inward and withdrew when I should of done the opposite. A baby was always at the very top of her list and my view point had been that it will happen in due time. Not to worry that everything will work out in the end, and now after reading this site more than I ever have read a site, I see why she was feeling the way that she was at the time. She was feeling then like I am NOW! Like I am running out of time. The time is clicking. That I am 35 and if she was pregnant tomorrow we would be 34 & 36 by the time our first child was born. So I guess what I am saying is that now with our pending divorce it just hit me, the reality of things. That I was a fool. A **** fool. I should of been so much more involved and proactive than I was and that just eats me up. I just let the whole IF situation cloud the picture until I didn't know what we were even doing.
I do appreciate your response. Please stay connected with your DH.
The Best Of Luck & Please Stay Safe,
InfertilityCrushed2