[wewishforbaby]

Originally Posted by InfertilityCrushed2

Wow Wewishforbaby,
I am so sorry to hear that. I feel your pain more than ever has been possible before. I hurt for you. I wish that I could help you or say something that would make it better. I suppose this Website has given me such a greater insight into a womans perspective on IF that when I read your post my heart actually hurt. I do hope for the best with your situation. IF is such a bad painful disease.

As for myself and my situation, yes I have tried to give her some space. The realization that I will be divorced is starting to set in. Once again last night just like so many nights before, I woke up. So I rolled over to check the clock and what do you know 2:58am. I guess the thing that really gets me about this whole situation is this...I believe that I know where I failed and why I withdrew because of IF. That today I could be such a better Husband, partner, and Father because now I see things much much more clearly. That now more than at any other point in my life I know exactly what I want. I want my wife, our children, the house, and the white flipn picket fence. The last month has just been such a wake up call about what is REALLY important in life and the future. I totally get the reasons why my wife is angry and hurt. I just wanted a chance to make it up to her. To prove that I was and I still am the guy who can make her the happiest woman in the world. That life is a journey and that I have learned one of the most important lessons yet...cherish the ones that you LOVE and tell them everyday. IF got me, and I do take responsibility for being withdrawn. However, I never wanted to be permanently away from my DW.

Wewishforbaby I do wish the best of luck to you. DO keep your chin up. There is a guy in St. Louis praying, hoping, and pulling for you and your DH. Thank you for helping me with your input during such a difficult time for yourself. That shows me alot about the person that you are inside.

Thank You Again & Stay Safe,

InfertilityCrushed2

Thank you for your prayers...I can certainly use as much prayers as possible.

Last night I cried until I couldn't cry anymore. I was hurting so bad. I was punishing myself feeling like maybe I didn't do all i could to make this pregnancy happen. I prayed to God and I told him of my anger I even got a little mad at him. Right now it just seems like there are so many little disconnected areas of my life....and it's painful. I feel sad that i have to go through this.

Through it all, I must say that my DH has been there. Sometimes I get mad at him maybe b/c it's all the hormones and sometimes it's out of sheer frustration. I know it frustrates him. I've decided to take a couple of months off to regroup and re-connect with my husband. Have some fun and just enjoy each other. I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself.

I'm not going to be defeated by IF!!! I feel that God is going to bless us with our child, I'm just not sure when.

I also want you to know that there is a woman in New Jersey hoping and praying that you and your wife make it. I'm hoping that she has a change of heart and come back to you so you can show her how much you love her. When a marriage can make it through IF, it's a testimony of how strong of a union you have. I pray for my marriage and all the other marriages out there that are victimized by IF.

Keep praying. You have it in your heart that you want your wife back...I know that God works miracles and I know that God knows what's good for us, so I continue to wait on him.

I wish you peace and blessings.