[1of2mommies]

Hi all,

my partner and I have decided to TTC. I am 27, she is 37. Since we are in a lesbian relationship, we're going to need to use a donor. We will be going with an open donor from a bank (ie one willing to disclose their identity when the child turns 18) and most likely will be doing IUI to conceive. I will carry the baby (can't wait to show off a baby bump!!!)

I will be having my first visit with my GP to discuss this next week. I know the basics (ie. need to chart my cycles, eat right/exercise, no smoking, no drinking, no caffeine, taking prenatal vitamins with folic acid...) I have no idea whether or not I have any fertility issues, but have no particular reason to suspect there are any.

So my question for the more experienced ladies is: what should I be asking my GP? Are there any tests I should request?

Thanks for your help!!

[Shellyhume]

Congratulations on taking this huge step into wanting to be a mommy! TTC takes it's toll on any relationship so I hope that you and your partner are prepared for anything that may come your way.

Now by "GP" do you mean your general practitioner or something else?

As I am inexperienced with IUIs without a vast array of other disfunctions, I'm not exactly sure what you will be put through before your IUI. I imagine you will be monitored via an ultrasound machine to see how your follicles on your ovaries are growing, when they've grown to a certain size, etc. but if you have no ovulation problems, they may have to guess when the best time to do the insemination is. They may offer you a shot of HCG so they can predict more successfully when exactly to do the IUI.

I guess the best thing to ask is how exactly they plan on making this happen for you. I would ask what is covered in an IUI package (if you are paying out of pocket, many facilities offer packages that include a certain number of ultrasounds and bloodwork checks, etc.).

I wish I could be more helpful. I've done the IUI thing three times but with my cornucopia of IF problems, I had to be put on a number of different drugs just to ovulate... I'm not sure how things work for a "normal" functioning woman. Good luck!!

[1of2mommies]

Hi Shelly, thanks for the welcome and the advice. Yes, I mean my GP...I have an appointment next week. I just want to do a pre-conception exam and any screening/tests for general heath issues. I figure we'll discuss the options we have, and possibly get a referral to a fertility clinic. I've been told there's a 2-3 month wait for an appointment, but that's ok because I need some time to get my body ready for this. I don't think my insurance will cover any treatments, but may cover some of the meds if they're necessary.

[jencat215]

1of2mommies!!! My recommendation to you is to have some testing done before you start your IUIs. Why? Well since you can't test out the theory that everything works well naturally, you will be spending a lot of money on DS and the IUI, unless your insurance covers it. There are some simple tests that I would ask for, which include a thyroid test, immunological panel, and blood disorder panel. These can all cause m/c or IF. If your insurance covers diagnositic testing, then it doesn't cost you anything and at least it can give you a piece of mind. If you have normal ovulation cycles, and no excessive pain (which may indicate endometriosis), then I wouldn't worry about HSGs or Laps at this point. And lots of these 'disorders' can be treated with extra folic acid and baby aspirin (extra folic as in more than what is in a prenatal). I had no reason to expect any fertility issues. In fact, I can get pg probably as easy as anyone. My problem is reoccuring m/c. Turns out I have a mutation in my MTHFR gene. The treatment for this is extra folic acid (I take an extra 3mg a day) and baby aspirin.

Also, ask them to run FSH and estridiol levels (usually on CD2 or CD3), and probably progesterone mid cycle. These test will help determine egg quality. Sometimes a simple medication like clomid can help boost egg quality.

Good luck with your persuits for a baby!!! I hope it is a easy road for you.

[sarah16]

Just wanted to say welcome and good luck with your IUI.

[babydance143]

So glad you found us!! Please keep us posted on your progess

[1of2mommies]

Wow, Jencat, thanks for the awesome info. I'm going to print that off and hand it over to my Dr. on wednesday. You're right, we obviously can't "test" the theory that I'm not going to have any problems, which is why I want to rule out as many potential difficulties as I can before we start the IUI. I'll have to talk to my Dr. about insurance covering some of the tests...

Thanks to everyone else for the warm welcome. My partner and I are very excited as the prospect of becoming mommies. We've been together for 5 years, and got married this summer. We have 5 "furkids" (2 dogs and 3 cats) that keep us busy, but we're ready to add a child of the non-furry variety to our family. I will keep you all posted about how things go after the appointment. In the meantime, to everyone!

[1of2mommies]

Hi gang,
well, the consult went well, I have some bloodwork scheduled for later this month (thyroid, hormones, iron, glucose, etc. etc.) and my GP has submitted a request for a consultation to our local fertility clinic (Ottawa). We're on our way!

Plus, finally showed up so I get to start using the calendar I've been hanging on to, and started taking my BBTs. A rough guestimate from the past few months, given my cycle day one, seems to indicate a very regular, 28 or 29 day cycle. That's good, no?

I hope things work out. We're giving ourselves a three-strikes-yer-out cutoff for the IUI cycles. Emotionally, and financially, I think that's all we'll be able to manage (donor spermies are NOT CHEAP!!!)

[Rob&Irina]

Originally Posted by 1of2mommies

my GP has submitted a request for a consultation to our local fertility clinic (Ottawa). We're on our way!

that's a great start! let me know if you have question, we were in about the same boat as you are now...

good luck to you!

[1of2mommies]

Now it's just a waiting game, I guess. Wait for the bloodwork to take place. Wait for the results. Wait for the appointment with the fertility clinic. Wait for first IUI....wait, wait, wait.

I'm trying to read and research in the meantime. A 17-week-pregnant coworker loaned me a great Canadian book, "The Mother of All Pregnancy Books". I just hope I don't get myself too worked up about things. I have a tendency to over-research.

[jencat215]

Hi Crystal- Congratulations on your wedding! And congratulations for getting the ball rolling. Yes, there will be lots and lots of waiting in this process. The 2ww after the IUI is the worst! But there are so many great women here that help you get through that.

You might also want to invest in some OPKs to test for ovulation. They work pretty well for me and I am a regular 28-29 day cycler too.

You can never over research. Take that from a scientist here. It is always best to be overly prepared!

Keep us informed on how you are doing!

[Rob&Irina]

Originally Posted by 1of2mommies

Now it's just a waiting game, I guess. Wait for the bloodwork to take place. Wait for the results. Wait for the appointment with the fertility clinic. Wait for first IUI....wait, wait, wait.

don't worry, everything will start happening very quickly you will get your day 3 u/s & b/w and then be ready to go for an IUI 2 weeks later if your blood work comes out good, they will probably put you on Clomid for your first cycle and you will have your IUI... if I were you, i would start looking at donor sperm options (if you go the frozen route)...

[1of2mommies]

What were some of your main considerations when looking for a donor? I'm looking at some sperm banks right now, and there are a lot of choices. Some of the things that are important to us are: ID consent (open donor - my partner was adopted and knows what it's like not knowing anything about your biological history/parents), looks kind of like my partner (blue eyes, dark hair), perhaps similar ancestry to Kim as well (she thinks Irish based on birth last name)...other than that...what's important?

So, I'm dutifully taking my temps (looking good so far, but haven't had enough to confirm O yet), taking my vitamins, eating well, and reading every pregnancy/fertility book I can get my hands on. I know nothing is for sure, but I'm living with almost constant nervous/excited flutters in my stomach...like I have a secret or a present to share with someone.... It's very hard to think about anything else. I wish I could start right now, and not have to wait for the appointments. It's likely going to be JANUARY before we get in. Siiiiiggghhhhh.... Can't even just "try" au naturel in the meantime......

[1of2mommies]

Quick update:

We have ordered and reserved two units of open ID donor sperm, hopefully for use in the new year! He's a fire-fighter, whoot-whoot!!

[Shellyhume]

Oh, believe me, I know how frustrating it is to have to "wait" to conceive, for different reasons, of course... but it's still very much the same frustration. Great news on finding an open donor! Does he have the dark hair and blue eyes like you were hoping for? Good luck, keep your chin up... January is not that far away, my dear. Soon enough you'll be all big and preggers!