[mihlya]

Wow what a great idea Jen,

1. I am 26
2 & 3. I have been married for almost 4 years, and trying to consieve for just as long!
4. I enjoy going for walks, reading(EXPECIALLY, ANYTHING BY: Nicholas Sparks), cooking/baking,
5. I live in Ontario, Canada
6. Fav. Show - 6 Ft. Under, Curb your enthusiasm, entourage, (These are just a few)
7. Nicholas Sparks,
8. Well, we just came back from a cruise to the carribean and that was just great, I which I was back there. However, my fav. vacation, would have to have been last yr, when we were in california/san fran and vegas. These are probably 3 of the best cities in the USA.
9. Right now we are in between treatments, and just had a lap., done, and decided on what we do from here.
M-

[jenedens6102]

So for those of us 20 somethings who are struggling with infertility.....let's get a little deeper. How has this effected your marriage? How has this effected your budget/savings? Do you have any regrets about the past or the present? I'll answer later, time to leave work!

[CryingInside]

Well, marriage wise it has made some major issues with us. Dh has finally gotten used to the idea of having to go through treatments, but that took some time. Now he is worried about the money.

I do have a regret about the past....I went to my family doctor before dh and I were married because nothing was happening (of course now I know that it was CRAZY for us to be trying at such a young age, but that is beside the point). That doctor brushed me off and told me that we had to be married and married for at least a year before he would even consider checking into the problems. I found out later that he had suspected my endo and had known about my cysts but choose to ignore that!

Money-wise, it hasn't affected us too much yet...just our two cycles. However, it affects our decisions now about how to spend our money. We know that it may cost us alot more so we need to be saving for that possibility.

[Angelwithhope]

I haven't been around for a while...haven't really felt like I fit in but I'm always willing to give it more of a try! (what can I say I'm stubborn! LOL)

1. How old are you
Dh and I are both 24

2. How long have you been married or with your significant other
We've been married almost two years and together for three and a half roughly.

3. How long have you been trying
WE've been trying for two and a half years this past month.

4. What are your hobbies
I enjoy crafts, trying to start my own business sort of...with miscarriage ribbons and memory boxes.

5. Where are you from
Canada

What is your favorite show on TV?
LOST...hands down!! Infertility is cured on teh island?? I'm gone!

Do you have a favorite book or author?
I enjoy reading books by Danielle Steele.

What was your favorite vacation?
Our two trips to Hawaii.

Where are you in your ttc journey?
We are currently considering taking a break as we have no funds and are on a tight budget. DH is in the process of losing his job.

[Lyss]

1. How old are you
21
2. How long have you been married or with your significant other
Together for 5 1/2 (married for 4 years in July)
3. How long have you been trying
Three Months (real trying) Not preventing for 17 months.
4. What are your hobbies
Digital photo editing, photography, reading, PC games, going out with my friends, writing.
5. Where are you from
STL, MO

[jenedens6102]

My marriage has been solid from the beginning and I'm very grateful for that. But I'd definitely be lying if I didn't say that infertility had caused a wedge to develop. When you take away the intimacy and privacy of the act of conception it can cause issues, especially for men. I didn't realize how much so until we took our first break. I went through the ups and downs the happy days and the sad days pretty much from the beginning. This was hard on DH because all they want to do for us is make things better and when you are dealing with male factor it makes them feel worse knowing that they can't help you. So we went through some moments where all we wanted to do was grieve on our own separate terms which wasn't together. We took a year and a half off between our IUIs and our IVF cycle and it was the best thing for us. We were able to come together, talk through how we both felt on an individual level as well as a couple. We were able to get back to the intimacy and privacy we felt had been taken from us during treatments. We definitely live with the "families who pray together, stay together" line in our lives. In a situation that could pull you further from the Lord ours brought us closer then we could have ever imagined. Our marriage isn't between two people it's between three: me, DH and God.
I don't really have any regrets. I can say that yes DH and I did have sex for years before we were married. I was put on birth control at a young age due to the heaviness of my cycles so we felt covered there but we still used condoms. I remember being so afraid the night of my honeymoon trying to come to terms with whether or not we could do it without the condom. I literally was shaking I was so afraid that I'd conceive right away. If only we all knew then what we know now huh? But I'm very thankful that we started trying at a young age even against the looks and comments we received from others.
Financially this has driven a big hole in our accounts. Our savings in depleted, completely! We were blessed with financial assistance from a family member for our IVF but I'm determined in time to pay them back. Then we also are looking to adopt in the next few years which means saving more money. In 2006 alone we had over $15,500 in medical expenses - that is out of pocket expense! So it's definitely taken some work but we have managed the best way we can while continuing to survive and pay our regular bills. When you are a newlywed, still settling into the real world and being hit with such big and heavy bills it can definitely make you feel out of sorts. I'm in accounting so nothing stresses me out like finances and not meeting a budget.

[sarah16]

For marriage issues for us, it has been a problem because my husband is dead set against IVF and adoption so if injectibles and IUI doesn't work I guess we are done. Finances are ok right now but this is only our second month. We are just now starting to get the bills. Not too bad so far.

[sarah16]

My one regret is that we didn't start trying for our second child earlier so this process would have started earlier.

[Lyss]

I had a friend call me the other day and try to TALK ME OUT OF TTC... because I couldnt survive on my own without my husband...so why would I want any more kids with him until I have a high powered career of sorts to do it on my own. She's highly against the idea of the SAHM with no real career or experience by college or what-not..

I was labeled a "train wreck in progress"...

I have never felt more shot down in my. life.

[pearlsofia]

i think IF has affected my marriage in many different ways. but one that i'm sure of is you'd think this would pull us apart its actually drawn us closer than ever, ever, ever. i will admit and say that DH is the stronger one and i can lean on him when i need to be held. i'm the more impatient one, lol. after going through so many iui's, dead end roads. i will be honest to say that when we officially started 'IF' treatment i would say, i'll only go this far and leave the rest to God. i started w/clomid, then metformin, then iui, then ivf. i would've never thought i'd go through all that. i can say that God was the one that opened every one of those doors otherwise i wouldn't have done them. after getting our bfp w/our first ivf (one and only) we were so grateful and blessed. but then when we were hit with m/c. i think that put a crater in our circle. neither of us could comfort each other cuz we were both in pain. so we just held each other and leaned on God. i could not have gotten thus far with out his strength and still its a daily battle to get up and keep going. i do not understand why, when, and how this happened to us, but i'm certain that God knows what he's doing. i have days that i'm not in the mood for intimacy or even days and weeks but then there are days that i'm ok and enjoy our intimacy. each day is a different day. i don't know if i'll feel the same tomorrow as i'm feeling today.

Budget wise, as i said before God was the one that allowed us go get thus far. we had no $$ for iui or ivf and some how God provided it. Nobody gave it to us nor did we borrow it from anyone, it would just appear when we needed it most out of nowhere. that's how we knew God was ok'ing it. as we did our taxes this year and was totalling up our medical expenses i was in total shock of how much we spent and still have nothing in our arms. but i still trust in God!

Regrets... hmm ... i would say my only regret is that i should've started IF a lot earlier but then again i couldn't have cuz i didn't have $$. i mean i didn't this time either but i guess God knew when it was the right time to start this journey. in short, i don't think i can think of any regrets at the moment.

right now, we are trying naturally. we still have 2 frozen embies, we have the $$ for it, but we cannot just jump in the ocean too quickly. we have to look ahead, our future, what's coming up next. we are waiting for God's 'ok'. Thus far, he just keeps saying to us, wait on me. so here i am, waiting.... i think that's one thing i've learned to master, ok maybe not master but 'ok' with it ... so i'm 'ok' with the waiting part. hey i don't get frustrated waiting in the 'waiting room' at my doctor appt's anymore, lol. i did catch onto a new pet peeve ... people not returning my phone calls right away. that i blame my RE for, she spoiled me too much

[judysm13]

-- >I am going to be 25 on mother's day (how ironic right)
--> We have been married for 5yrs
--> we started ttc naturally one month after we got married and I started to see my doc one year ago
--> I am from California and I love to go to the movies and spend time with my hubby.
--> my fav tv show is Law & Order SVU.
My relationship with my dh has always been based on love and respect towards one another and the only thing that has really been afected by all of this has been our "Non- BD'ing" the fact is that I most of the time don't 'feel' like it, and my dh feels lonely. Other than that I think we are O.K!!!!!!!!

[jenedens6102]

I agree with Sofia, while at first our IF took us a while to grasp we couldn't be any stronger now! People look at us and all we've been through and are just so shocked at our mutual love and respect for each other and our ability to "praise God in the storm" of our situations. It is definitely all by God's grace that we are here, that we've made it this far and that we are still going each and every day. I know I've been blessed beyond measure and many of you have as well!

[nlyday]

Well, FOR MY HUSBAND AND I...I WOULD SAY WE ARE STRONGER NOW...ONLY BECAUSE WE HAVE HAD TO WORK TOGETHER TO MAKE THIS POSSIBLE AND BE THERE FOR EACH OTHER FOR WHEN WE FELT LIKE WE ARE FALLING...WE HAVE TO BE THERE TOGETHER THE DAYS THAT SHOWS UP AND THEN WHEN REARS HER UGLY HEAD...

AS FAR AS OUR BUDGET...WE HAVENT DONE ANY REAL EXPENSIVE TREATMENTS...BUT WE JUST HAVE TO SQUEEZE MEDS AND MONITORS IN THE BUDGET..I AM HAVING TO GO BACK TO WORK THO BC OF THIS WHOLE PROCESSI HAVE BEEN A STAY AT MOMMY FOR 3 YEARS..SO THIS IS REALLY A STRUGGLE FOR HIM AND I BOTH....


SOMETHING I REGRET WOULD BE PROLLY NOT GOING TO THE DOCTOR SOONER...I JUST WAS THINKING "AWW IT'LL HAPPEN..." OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT...NOT EVEN HAVING A CLUE THAT ANYTHING WAS WRONG...IT TOOK US A YEAR WITH OUR DAUGHTER...SO WE STARTED TRYING AGAIN WHEN SHE WAS 4 WEEKS OLD...AND NOW HERE WE ARE ALMOST 4 YEARS LATER...UGH..I WISH SOMETIMES PPL WOULD UNDERSTAND, THAT JUST BC WE ARE 20 SOMETHING DOESNT MEAN WE ARE THE HEALTHIEST CREATURES ON THE BLOCK...AGE REALLY ISNT AN ISSUE IN THIS AREA...WE ARE SUPPOSE TO BE MORE FERTILE RIGHT NOW..AND OBVIOUSLY NONE OF US ARE...GRRR....

(TURNING INTO A VENT SESSION....SORRY... )

[Shellyhume]

1. I am 23.
2. Married for 3 years, together for 6.
3. TTC for 2 years
4. I love to camp, hike, and kayak... lately I've been spending a LOT of time on this forum! 80)
5. New England... born in NH, lived in Maine, now living in Massachusetts (it's a mandated state, afterall).


favorite show on TV is LOST...hands down!! Second is Grey's Anatomy.

Not so much of a reader... but my alltime favorite book was "The Giver" by Lois Lowry. No infertility problems in that book.

Favorite vacation is yet to happen... going to Puerto Rico in July... 80) I must say, though... Moosehead Lake is in my top 5.

I am 3dpiui... If unsuccessful, I'm taking a break.

[jenedens6102]

Thanks for the information Shelly. It's nice to get to know each other and their individual stories and situations. Here is wishing you the best during your two week wait and going on from there.