[september2star]

My name is Kristen. I am an Arizona native who was raised in an amazing family. I am the only child of Steve and Linda Pufpaff who are still married and reside in Arizona as well. My story begins during my 16th year of life. I was a sophomore at a local high school. I had just started my first job and life was going so well. I had friends and was doing well in school. My life could not be any better and I was extremely happy. During these years all my friends were entering into “woman hood” and we all talk about what was changing with us. My friends all compared their first menstruation and how much it sucked but meant they were officially women. I on the other hand did not know what they were talking about. I had not “entered woman hood” and could not share my stories with my best friends. My mother became concerned and set up an appointment with her OBGYN to see what was going on. I met with my mom’s OBGYN thinking I was just delayed and would start any day. Next thing I knew I was a 16 year old entering a fertility doctor.
Knowing I was going to see a fertility doctor confused me more than worried me. I did not understand why I needed to see him, after all I was only 16, I did not want to get pregnant. I went in not really understand why and left still confused. After being poked and prodded by a second doctor to only have them tell me I needed to get more tests done. Over the course of the next month I had blood drawn, twice, they lost it the first time, and an ultra sound. I was beginning to think I was pregnant and no one has informed me. I became more and more confused because I was pretty sure you needed to have sex in order to get pregnant. A month later I was back in the fertility doctor’s office. Imagine being 16 and sitting around a bunch of 30-40 year old women who were either pregnant or trying to conceive. I felt their eyes judging me and I still did not know what was going on.
I went into the doctor’s office to have a conference. He first talked to my mother, and then to me. For the first time a doctor was treating me like a human and an adult who did not need their parent present for every word spoken. I sat in the room, confused as ever. My mother had entered the room normal and exited with an odd look on her face. I sat in his chair and finally got an explanation to all the poking and prodding that had been going on for the past month. I still remember his words; they haunt me to this day. He said “Kristen, you do not produce enough of a certain hormone to produce eggs. This is why you have not started your period. We are going to start you on some pills to set things in motion. You will take one pill daily and one pill added to that the first 13 days of each month. You will need to take these pills for the rest of your life.” At this point my mother entered the room with us. He explained to her about the pills and she then asked me a question. My mother said “Kristen, do you know what all of this mean.” I then replied “um, I think so.” I then got a wide awakening and realization. She turned to the doctor and said “will she ever be able to get pregnant?” The doctor replied “no, she will not be able to get pregnant naturally.” Imagine, being 16 and hearing those words.
My friends were great when I told them what was going on, but they would never truly understand. I started to feel better when I thought about all the children out there that needed to be adopted. I told myself, you were made this way because there is an unborn child waiting for you to be its mother. I thought about this regularly, but was always told “it will all work out.” When you are 16 your biggest worries should be: does he like me? Should I wear this or that? What will we be doing this weekend? Am I going to pass my driver’s test? Will I get a car? Will I have a boyfriend? Will we kiss? A 16 year old should not have to deal with the fact that she cannot conceive. Instead of wondering “does he like me” I was wondering “will anyone love me if I cannot give them a child.”
As time went on that question sank deep into my head and haunts me to this day. As I grew older it hung over my head with each new relationship. I had to think about when to tell the boyfriend or if I should even tell him. I had to think about when was too soon to tell and when was too late to tell. Would a guy love me for me? Would I scare them away if I told them too soon? Would I ruin a relationship if I told him too late?
I graduated high school and started in college at Arizona State University. I decided I wanted to go into child psychology and help those children with mental disabilities and emotional problems. As I got deeper into my studies I found a new major; Human Development and Family Studies. Here I got to learn about child development and family dynamics. I read stories of the beaten and abused, neglected and murdered. This made my love to adopt even stronger. As I learned more I found an interest in Social Work and helping those who had no one to help them. I graduated with my Bachelors degree in Human Development and Family studied in May of 2007.
During my last year of school I worked for a child development lab on campus and as an Assistant Director for a preschool/daycare. I currently work with children ages birth to 3 who have been diagnosed as developmentally delayed. I enjoy my job and see so many bright children with loving families. I work with biological children as well as children in the foster care system. It will forever amaze me at how much people are willing to help those in need as well as neglect those who are in need.
I am currently in a committed relationship with a wonderful guy. We have been together for over 4 years. We have a beautiful Great Dane named Bruno, a crazy orange tabby named MoJo, a harry hamster named Sammy and a Porcupine Puffer Fish which I call Puffy. We have lived together for over 3 years and plan to get a condo at the end of the year. My boyfriend knows of my condition and extremely understands. We have talked on occasion about our future and adopting a child. Recently I started looking into adoption costs and costs for fertility treatments. Our options at this time are either adoption or possibly using an egg donor and having it fertilized and placed inside of me. During my online research I have come to the realization that both of these options are extremely expensive. Adoption is expensive and can take anywhere from 2 months to 20 years to get a child. Using an egg donor is expensive and may not take the first time. Upon this research I found that though some places offer loans or grants, most are involved in some way with a certain religion. All of these options help with adoption, but there is nothing I found that helps with egg donation and insemination. There is no organization that helps those not religiously involved and none that seem to help anyone under the age of 35.
I am writing my story down in hopes to get the word out. I am not the only person who has this issue. I have friends who have children or are going to have children soon. I work with children who have disabilities. I have seen what drugs can do to a child and what a loving family can do as well. What I do not understand is how there is nothing out there to help a loving caring hopeful future mother experience this part of life. Some people choose not have children, while others have chosen to have children. Well, I choose to have children, but someone else has chosen to take that choice away from me without my written permission. Who has the right to not give me this option just because I do not have $20,000 to go towards the attempts to have a child? Shouldn’t I be saving my money to help better the life of a child and send that said child to college to help future children?
I write this asking for help. Help to raise money for me and people like me. Would you help someone under these circumstances or would you choose to ignore a person’s yearning for a child? Could you spare $10, $5, or $1? Could you skip the Starbucks coffee and donate that $3.44 to a couple wishing for a child? Could you skip the Big Mac at lunch time to donate those few dollars? If we have learned something in this world, it is that money buys just about everything and some people do not have the money to do so. Certain luxuries are taken for granted. Certain abilities are as well. People are willing to care, but are afraid to at the same time. Life is worth sharing. Life is worth everything. Why not help someone share their life with a wanted child? I know we are all in the same boat, but I wish there were more organizations out there that helped.

I do not know who to contact with these concerns and my story. I am showing this to those I know in hopes it will get into the right hands. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope I shared a part of myself that touched your heart.

Thank you,

Kristen

[Laura1490]

Your story has touched me in an unbeleivable way... I am so sorry to hear all that you have gone through on your fertility journey and can only hope that you get that child you so deserve.

I myself have PCOS and can produce eggs, but need a drug to help me do so. I have Insurance that does cover most of my IF needs. I pay maybe $15 a visit.

I have heard some people on here talking about some states taht do offer IVF funding... and there are also some Insurances that offer funding. I am not sure of where, but if you ask around on the forum I am sure you will find someone who knows something about it.

I will pray for you and your husband to have a child. Just out of curiosity have you ever considered Foster Care? You could get some great kids in your home and be able to help so many kids in a short period of time. And I know some people on here who have actually adopted their foster children after they fostered them.

Just a thought for you...

Good Luck!