[Murphette]

Hi all. I haven't been posting too much in the past few months after my last BFN. Been trying to keep up with what's happening with us over 40'ers through the email updates.

Taka - sorry to hear about your BFN. Believe me I understand how devastating that can be.

I always thought if we were lucky enough to afford Donor Eggs that I would feel really connected to the child, even though it wouldn't carry my DNA. I felt that since it was my body that was nourishing and taking care of the baby that there would actually be more of a connection if you know what I mean. Unfortunately, donor eggs is not something we will be able to pursue due to the high costs, and we are self pay. We've decided to go the adoption route (my husband was a foster child all of his life but was lucky enough to be placed with a family that he was able to stay with. He legally changed his name to theirs when he turned 18). It's really neat, he never was interested in finding out about his biological mother (we have no clues or any information on his bio Dad). As far as he's concerned, his parents are the ones who raised him and he's very close to his younger brother. What's even neater in my opinion, his brother makes no differentiation between my DH and his biological brothers. He's actually discussed this with me and says just because there's no common blood/DNA between them means nothing to him. Those are just things. What really matters is that my DH is his brother, they're family, they shared their lives together and would do anything for each other and that's all that counts. It really helped me to get such insight from my brother-in-law.

Good luck and congrats to those of you who have gotten your BFP's. I am always so thrilled when I see one of us 40-somethings get pg. I keep all of you in my prayers every night and I can't wait for all of us to achieve our dreams of being parents -- regardless of which route we take to get there.

[J-LYN]

Lia and Tamar, thank you so much for the inspiration.

I triggered early this morning at 2 am.! Luckily, I have one of my oldest, nearest and dearest friends here in town, and three of us best friends spent the night at a hotel and stayed up til 4 am giggling and having a blast. So it was no problem gettting the trigger at 2 am.

For some odd reason, I feel very calm this cycle, and I don't know why. theres so much more resting on this cycle. My e2 was 581 yesterday before trigger, and the nurse said it matches my follicles, and I am ready to retrieve at 9 days this time instead of 12 days. Hopefully, I've making some great eggs this time, even if it is only a couple.

I have ER at 1 tomorrow.

Hugs and will post an update tomorrow.

Janet

[taka]

Laura, thanks so much for your sweet words. I had been following you as well and was so sad for you when things didn't work out with IVF. I am so happy for you that you decided to go the adoption route. I love what you said about your dh...I don't know if you saw my post a while back but dh also didn't know his bio dad and never cared or wanted to know. Tommmorow we are meeting with our re and I hope that she has some good direction for us. Welcome back to our over 40 thread!

Janet, good luck with your er tommorow! I think you are having a smooth time for a reason

Lia, I have been checking out the de threads and I am so happy that things are coming together for you!

[Murphette]

Good luck on your ER J-Lyn. Here's hoping you have some great quality eggs!

Tamar - I don't remember seeing that post. Thanks for the welcome back and the good wishes. Let us know how your post IVF consult goes with the RE.

[taka]

Hi Guys, we had a really positive meeting with our RE. Both my husband and I went in feeling like we were not ready to give up...but nervous about what our doctor would say. When we met with her she went through all the criteria of what she looks for when she gives a recommendation on whether or not to try another round of IVF. She told me that I had an excellent ovarian reserve for my age, our retreival went extremely smooth, we had great response to the stims. I think I mentioned that my eggs didn't fertilize until the day after the retreival, they had to pour some more sperm on them so they got a late start and only half of them fertilized. She thinks that this is why they weren't as good quality. She wants us to try another round doing ICSI...she actually said that because of us she is going to probably start doing ICSI for anyone over 40 automatically. So she really wants us to try again. She left saying she wanted us to be her 42 year old success story. I know that we are still in such a precarious situation because of my age but she just made me feel like there was hope!

[taka]

Janet, how did your er go?

Mindi how have you been doing?

[J-LYN]

Well ladies, they got two eggs! I am sooo thankful, and now the next hurdle is to wait til tomorrow around 3 , he said he'll cal with my fertilization report.

One of my larger follies didn't have an egg, and then one was too small, but I am so grateful for the two.

What's weird is that one of the IVF girls at the Dr came up to me yesterday and gave me a big hug, and said she just wanted to hug me. and then today she was soo excited for me, she just has a good feeling too. I'm hopeing that all this good feeling is right on the money!

Taka, I'm glad your RE is optomistic. The first RE I went to freaked me out and called my eggs old etc. At the time, I was insulted, now, I think maybe she was just telling it like it is. LOL

Anyway, it's great that she inspired you to go on and try again. My dr did suggest donor eggs, because it's more of a sure (er) thing, but he still was open to letting me try with my own.

Laura, thank you too, for the inspiration! I don't know what I'd do without this support. You have 12 cats? I had 4, but two passed away last year, within a month of each other. (one young, heart related, one my old man 17 yrs old) I love cats!

Hugs and I'll post tomorrow, my fert report

[marilynn]

Hi Everyone,
I don't really know where we are with all of this, but I just wanted to check in. It's so cool to see women our age still positive and trying. My in-laws are here. We're getting ready to make an international move, so I have had a lot going on.

Tamar, I'm happy for your good report. You really do have some great response, and even though I don't really know who you are, I truly want you to have a baby. It would make me really happy.

I just can't imagine not having a baby of my own. All I ever wanted was one ever since I can remember. So, now I am trying to imagine life without having one. What kills me is my dh has always wanted one as badly as I do. I don't throw unnecessary guilt trips on myself, but I do feel bad some now because my eggs must suck now. I think he must love me more than having a biological baby of his own because he wants to stick with me. It's still very hard. My mom was fertile myrtle.... 4 kids in 5 years. I never expected this, but it is what my life is now.

I honestly don't think God has intended to bless us with a baby that lives with us. We have our beautiful daughter who was with us for three days, and I think that is what God has wanted for us. I don't mean to be so negative, but I would be lying to myself if I presented another picture of my feelings.

Well, I will check in later. We have not yet had our report from our last miscarriage to determine if there is any point in trying again. Also, we are moving to Singapore where IVFs are slightly cheaper. So, we are in IF limbo. Thanks for the ear....

Marilyn

[marilynn]

J-lyn,
Wishing you the absolute very best fertilization report tomorrow!!!!!!
Marilyn

[MarisaD]

Tamar - I glad your RE has a positive attitude. ICSI is a must, especially at our age. You produced alot of eggs last cycle. I never got more than 4-5. I hope your next cycle works for you. You have a great chance. Best wishes.

Janet - I'm happy you got 2 eggs. Can't wait to hear your fert report.

[taka]

Marilyn, I am sorry that you have been feeling so down. I know exactly how you feel....hopeless and sad that life isn't turning out the way you expected. Have you guys considered IVF or the donor egg route. I really hadn't until I started reading all of the success and happiness that the ladies on this board are experiencing. I hope that when you get to Singapore you will have more opportunities to explore. In the meantime it sounds like a neat adventure!


Marissa, thanks for the support...it has meant alot to me

[J-LYN]

The update on my eggs is that we have one fertilized. Dr said bloodwork tomorrow, and my next update on my embie will be Monday. I think he may want to do a transfer. But I'm confused, because we have 1 frozen also, that I thought we would thaw and transfer both together, and he said to save it as a back up. Does this sound strange to you? I guess I'll know more Monday, and I am going to see if I can talk to him or the IVF girls tomorrow just to get my head straight. He did say this one looks good.

Hugs to you all,

Janet

[taka]

Hi Janet, that's good news. Maybe your re thinks that this one will have a better chance on its own.

[J-LYN]

Im off for blood work this morning. It's pure torture everyday waiting to hear the update's

Taka, Do you know when you'd be starting again?

I think you had a pretty darn good response, and well worth another try for sure!

Marissam how are you feeliing?

Marilyn, I know you are meant to be a mom, don't give up! and Chin up!

Laura, I saw your myspace, very cute. Keep us posted on what your plans are.

Hugs

Janet

[taka]

It looks like we will be starting up again at the end of July and doing our transfer towards mid August. I am glad to have at least one cycle with no BCP and no shots....jeez, maybe my husband and I can actually have sex the au natural way We keep joking that if we do have a baby it will be through immaculate conception....