[taka]

Mindi, do you live in Santa Monica. DH and I moved from there to Utah about a year and a half ago. I miss it sometimes.

[taka]

8kitts, my re has had us take a month between each round of drugs because we had cysts leftover each time..they said this was very normal. Your fsh is great. I asked about assisted hatching and our center automatically does it for women over 38...

[Murphette]

Arpee - sending your lots of good vibes and that you get your on 8/5.

8kitts - welcome to the forum. I was so happy when I found this site because I've had so much great support through my two failed IVF's and now through my adoption process. I'm not sure I would have survived some of the setbacks without the love and encouragement from others on this board who know exactly how I feel b/c they've gone through some of the same things. When my last IVF faile (2 weeks before my 43rd birthday) I was devastated. I barely spoke to anyone for about three months. My RE won't do any more IVF procedures once you turn 43 because he says the chances of getting pg with your own eggs go down dramatically. For example before 43, based on my numbers, he put my chances of success at 20% - not great but excellent for someone in our age group. After 43 my percentage dropped to less than 5. So our only choice was donor eggs which is totally beyond us for financial reasons. Anyway, hang in there. The funk you're in will eventually lessen and holpefully, you will come up with a plan for the future. As a word of encouragement, my grandmother got pg and carried a baby to term when she was 44 (natural cycle not IVF of course). So, good things can happen to us 40-somethings.

I do feel it's good to take a break between cycles to let your body get back to normal. Also, this was your first IVF which is a learning process for you and your RE. I wouldn't be surprised if they don't change some things to increase your chance of success. My first IVF seemed to have problem after problem. We retrieved 9 eggs, 7 were mature and absolutely none fertilized even though we did ICSI. I was crushed. My second IVF they changed some of the meds and dosages and it went great. We retrieved 7 eggs, 4 were mature and all 4 fertilized with ICSI. We transferred all 4 at day 3 with assisted hatching. Unfortunately it was a bfn for us but my RE thinks it was an implantation problem. I swear he was as surprised and upset as we were when I got a bfn that cycle.

I have read some information on "embryo glue" so maybe ask your RE about that. Also, I have read some studies and have seen some ladies on here using DHEA to increase egg quality, so I would also ask the RE what they think about that. I believe you have to be on it for a few months for it to have good effect on the eggs. Anyway, just some suggestions for your appt with RE to check into. I hope you start feeling better soon and that you and your RE come up with a plan for your next cycle and that you get your .

Barbara - my FSH was always right around 7 and they like it to be less than 12/13 I believe.

Everyone - Thanks for the words of support for the homestudy. I'll let you know how it goes. Also, thanks for the comments about the portfolio. I've been stressing over that thing for the last month.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend. to you all.

[bq122]

Originally Posted by Murphette

Arpee - sending your lots of good vibes and that you get your on 8/5.

8kitts - welcome to the forum. I was so happy when I found this site because I've had so much great support through my two failed IVF's and now through my adoption process. I'm not sure I would have survived some of the setbacks without the love and encouragement from others on this board who know exactly how I feel b/c they've gone through some of the same things. When my last IVF faile (2 weeks before my 43rd birthday) I was devastated. I barely spoke to anyone for about three months. My RE won't do any more IVF procedures once you turn 43 because he says the chances of getting pg with your own eggs go down dramatically. For example before 43, based on my numbers, he put my chances of success at 20% - not great but excellent for someone in our age group. After 43 my percentage dropped to less than 5. So our only choice was donor eggs which is totally beyond us for financial reasons. Anyway, hang in there. The funk you're in will eventually lessen and holpefully, you will come up with a plan for the future. As a word of encouragement, my grandmother got pg and carried a baby to term when she was 44 (natural cycle not IVF of course). So, good things can happen to us 40-somethings.

I do feel it's good to take a break between cycles to let your body get back to normal. Also, this was your first IVF which is a learning process for you and your RE. I wouldn't be surprised if they don't change some things to increase your chance of success. My first IVF seemed to have problem after problem. We retrieved 9 eggs, 7 were mature and absolutely none fertilized even though we did ICSI. I was crushed. My second IVF they changed some of the meds and dosages and it went great. We retrieved 7 eggs, 4 were mature and all 4 fertilized with ICSI. We transferred all 4 at day 3 with assisted hatching. Unfortunately it was a bfn for us but my RE thinks it was an implantation problem. I swear he was as surprised and upset as we were when I got a bfn that cycle.

I have read some information on "embryo glue" so maybe ask your RE about that. Also, I have read some studies and have seen some ladies on here using DHEA to increase egg quality, so I would also ask the RE what they think about that. I believe you have to be on it for a few months for it to have good effect on the eggs. Anyway, just some suggestions for your appt with RE to check into. I hope you start feeling better soon and that you and your RE come up with a plan for your next cycle and that you get your .

Barbara - my FSH was always right around 7 and they like it to be less than 12/13 I believe.

Everyone - Thanks for the words of support for the homestudy. I'll let you know how it goes. Also, thanks for the comments about the portfolio. I've been stressing over that thing for the last month.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend. to you all.

Murphy,
Wow, Your FSH is three times lower than mine I have no Idea how my RE thinks I can even preg. Makes me think this is never going to happen. But since I am on my 2ww I am going to stay positive then have a long talk with him if I get a BFN.
If I have to move to ED I hope he would just let us know instead of wasting more time. If I am I would like to do it overseas I see them advertise for a place in czech republic. But I guess we will see what happends.
If you dont mind the question are you saying ED is more expensive than adoption. I thought I read adoption runs 30,000 - 40,000 and I thought ED is less than half that??
We would also like to adopt, Regardless even if we have our own child we are still going to adopt but we have to wait for dh to retire in July before we can even start the paperwork, or should I say submit paperwork..UUGGHHH

[Murphette]

Hey Barbara - FSH is only one of the factors they consider when determining your odds for success, so don't stress out too much over the numbers. Most RE's are going to be pretty straight up with you regarding your chances. Remember they want your success as much as you do. This may come across as self-serving for the clinc but they want high success rates and a only decreases their statistics, so they are going to do everything they can to ensure your success. IF ED is what they feel is best for you if this cycle doesn't work, be sure they will communicate that.

So by all means stay positive. 40-somethings can also get pg just like 20-/30-somethings. It's just sometimes a little harder for us.

My IVF cycles cost me $10,000 and $12,000 out of pocket. Luckily my prescription coverage took care of most of the meds. I think my total out of pocket on those was maybe $300. Using donor eggs would have almost doubled those numbers, plus I would have to add the costs of the meds for the donor which wouldn't be covered by my insurance. Adoption can be just as expensive but as we are not trying to adopt a baby, and we are adopting through the state, our out of pocket costs will only be $500 to $1,000 and most of those will be reimbursed by the state. We decided that at this point we will try to adopt an older child or sibling group between 5 and 10 years old, mainly because of our ages and the fact that it would take about three years, or longer, for us to be matched to a baby. And, there are so many waiting older children that are looking for homes, we felt this would be the best way of fulfilling our dream of having a child/children, at the same time fulfilling their dream of having parents.

I'm sorry if I freaked you out, I didn't mean to. Keep positive and I am so hoping you get your .

to you Sweetie!

[bq122]

Laura - Thank you for the info. and clearing up a lot of stuff. So wanting to adopt a child under the age of 5 can take years?

[Murphette]

It can. I'm not saying it can't happen sooner than that but statistically older couples trying to adopt a baby seems to take longer. Not really sure why -- maybe birth mothers want younger parents, possibly. My boss who is 46 and his wife, who will be 50 next year just got their baby girl in October (from China) and it took them four years. Others that I've seen both domestic and international have taken about 3 years on average. Through the state it's almost impossible to get a child under 4. This is because they get fostered and the foster families tend to fall in love with them and adopt them, which is great for the child. However, I just know in my heart I cannot be a foster parent. The ones I'm in contact with are broken hearted when they decide to adopt their little one and it falls through and they have to give them up. Not sure my poor battered heart can take that. Even with adopting an older child through the state we're told it can take up to 18 months before getting matched to a child. So, it's not a quick and easy process unless you've got a directed adoption (someone you know picked you) or a relative adoption.

[taka]

Hi Ladies, I am interested about the cost of using an egg donor as well. Although our insurance covers IVF I wonder if it would cover with an egg donor? Our re seemed to think that it would. She made a point, if insurance covers the cost of having an organ or kidney donated why wouldn't they cover an egg donation..

[Murphette]

Taka, that would be so great for you if your insurance sees the coverage the same way your RE does. My insurance didn't cover IVF at all. The only thing that was covered was my medications through my prescription plan which save us somewhere between $3-5,000. Unfortunately, it will not cover the donor if we were ever to decide to go the DE route.

[Mindi_IUI]

Laura, how did your home study interview go today? I know how you don't want to go through the foster care program due to the possibility of having the child being taken back their parents, but I do know someone who got to foster an 11 month old baby on request that she get a child whose mother had drug problem knowing that the chances would be in her favor that the mother would be denied her return since the father had given his parental rights. So, there is hope that you can still get a toddler. BTW, I saw your myspace and read that you and your DH have been married for over 20 years. Wow! That is fantastic Without getting nosey, could I ask you what made you two decide to want to have children now?

Oh no, after reading that there are a lot of us with lower then 7 FSH levels, which I thought was great, I'm scared to think that that doesn't matter in conceiving. If a low FSH doesn't determing how good your eggs are then what does?

Taka, are you only interested in donor eggs, or would you be open to donor embryos? There is a gal on my SMC thread that got pregnant with a donor embyro at 41 after a few failed IUI's and then 2 failed IVF cycles. I could ask her about the cost if you'd like. I know that you could also go onto the donor egg thread and ask what everyone paid for their donor. I don't think I'd give up on IUI's just yet. I'd go for at least 6 before I moved onto IVF as I have heard that it could take up to 6 before you have success. Also, since you are using your DH's sperm you are only paying for the cost of the IUI, which is pretty cheap with insurance. Just my imput.

[bq122]

Thanks for the info - Laura

I am not sure if you read my other thread but I took two hpts today. One in the am and I got a slight line and the second was two hrs ago and it was a digital one that said "pregnant"

I am so excited but I can tell no one until wednesday at my sons memorial mass. I am going to go for the beta tomorrow and if its confirmed and a good beta #.
I plan to tell the family because it will sure put a smile on my dh, dd's & immediate families face.

Kind of a bittersweet day. I think God planned it that way.

[Murphette]

Barbara -- that is great news!! Congratulations. I can understand how that would be bittersweet but I am so happy for you.

Mindi - FSH does count toward egg quality but it's only one of many factors. Home study went okay. She had no issues with the house but there's some stuff in the backyard my dh needs to get cleaned up. However, we had these profiles we had to turn in by the third meeting (which was in May). One profile I had to do, one my husband had to do and the other we both had to do as the married couple. She never got the copies so had not had a chance to preview them and tailor her questions to what we put in the profiles. So we gave her the copies I had kept, which I was reluctant to do because what happens if she loses those? Then we have no back ups. So the end result is she'll contact us in mid September and come back to finish the home study then. GRRRR!! Frustrating.

Yes, we have been married for twenty years. We have been trying to have our own child for about 15 of those years. I went through several tests, several operations to remove polyps and scar tissue on my tubes. Finally determined I only had one good tube which would take me longer to get pg. Finally got pg 10 years ago, unfortunately it was ectopic and I lost my one good tube. We were not in a position financially to try IVF (or adoption) at that time. Also, my baby sister (25) had just died in a car accident, and my older brother was really sick. I spent 10 years back and forth at the hospital with him and even gave him one of my kidneys. He died 2 years ago. Finally, we were financially stable enough to try to have a child. IVF didn't work, so now we're trying the adoption route. So, we've been at this quite a long time at this point. Also, it took a while to talk my dh into trying IVF and/or adoption.

[tko6666]

Barbara,
I'm so happy for you! Congratulations! This is such a big week for you. I wish you not only happiness, but time for reflection as well.

[Murphette]

Barbara - I saw your post on the other thread. Congratulations! I am so happy for you. I wholeheartedly agree with your RE don't worry that it's too low because you are a day ahead of others getting your beta. Also, I've seen numerous ladies throughout my last two years here on the boards have much lower betas and still go on to have a beautiful baby. So don't stress out over that tonight. Go home, celebrate with dh, (I know it is bittersweet for you), and send some wonderful positive thoughts to your little baby snuggling in. to you sweetie!

[bq122]

Laura you are absolutely right, everyone here is right I am not going to stress. I am preg. and with Gods help he will make sure I have a healthy baby.

Dh knows nothing I told him I changed my beta date until thursday. So I have been holding this a secret since monday..

I dont know what I would do without you guys.

Tomorrow is going to be a big day. I am need to rest up so my baby will snuggle in you said it right.

God bless.