[45trying]

Hi everyone. I am very new to a forum. I am recently married to a wonder man after divorcing and in a 26 year marriage. I have 2 wonderful older sons 25 and 24. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby. I want this more than I ever dreamed possible. My husband is very supportive and said if it is just me and you I love you more than ever. I want to give my husband a child. He would be a wonderful father. I just turned 45 Aug. 26th. Any good news for me... we even talked if all the testing and trying is not successful. We would consider an egg donor. I am hoping for some encouragement for being my age and achieving and being able to carry a baby to full term again. You can sure email me too. Thank you for your help!

[TMorris]

Congrats on the new life! I don't want to rain on your loving parade, but you probably already know (and I believe in honesty) that the statistics are not "on your side." Yes, women do conceive without assistance at your age (which is also mine), and you'll always have well-meaning friends tell you of their own acquaintances in that boat, but it is actually statistically rare.

The stats even with assistance plummet after the age of 40. Some docs won't even encourage you to give it a go *without* donor eggs once you're 40. They rightfully state that they would likely be wasting your time and money.

At this point for you, TIME is the most valuable thing you have. And at your age, we're talking weeks or months, literally. By that, I mean that once a woman is perimenopausal (and that's something that generally happens without much in the way of symptoms), it can be anywhere from several weeks to several years before her chances are completely caput of conceiving with or without assistance.

Think of it this way -- menopause is not something that happens overnight, or in a day. Or even weeks. It is a gradual process that usually starts in early to mid 40's and ends 5 to 10 years later, or thereabouts. Lots of variables to consider there, including family history of menarche/menopause, your overall health, medical conditions, etc.

In fact, the best advice that anyone could give you is that you need to go ahead and see a specialist now. Get assessed, both of you. Then you'll know where you stand with some certainty on the matter of fertility.

I wish you much luck, however you go about it!

[45trying]

Thank you for your honesty... I have read a lot about egg donor and being an egg recipient.. they say age is not factor with this as egg donor's egg is good quality and uterus needs no age. I want to do all I can... Do you have much information on egg recipients at 45 yrs old?

[liz1234]

You generally won't find success rates for Donor Egg reported by age of the recipient because it doesn't really make a difference. AND, at a good fertility center you can expect a 70% success rate using donor egg. Best of luck. I can certainly related to wanting a baby at 45. I'm 42 and identify with your sentiments.

[TMorris]

Liz is right -- there's not much that's specific to that age, but there is some. The issues, as Liz alludes to, for women in their 40's using donor eggs are those related to the state of her uterus and endocrine system. I'm looking up some stats now and will return with whatever I find...

[TMorris]

Okay, as is usually the case, life calls me away from the computer. Here's what to do when looking for stats (clinic success rates from the CDC are very limited in what they'll reveal to you, generally): go to http://fertstert.org This is the website of Fertility & Sterility, the journal of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine. You won't be able to read anything more than abstracts unless you are a subscriber. However, abstracts can at least give you some numbers, in addition to an idea of the level of depth that research goes into... Head there, do a search for things like "advanced maternal age" or pregnancy chances, etc. (whatever terms you'd use in a Google search), rearrange the results by date (so you're seeing the latest research first) and start digging.

[lotsoftots]

I just want to say dont give up on your dreams. There are a lot of ladies that have babies after the age of 45 I am 44 and pregnant right now myself this is my second baby after the age of 40 I was talking to my ob and he told me so far his oldest pregnant lady is 48 and doing fine as well as the baby. I wish you lots of luck and praying you get that little one.

as far as donor eggs I do know of a few who have done that on a board I belong to right now one is 43 but on a waiting list the other she is 47 and just had twins 3 months ago :O)

[georgia46]

Do not give up I have a 17 year old son and now I'm pregnant with my egg 7 months and at the age of 46

[girlz7]

Hi was out surfing tonight and came across your thread I had my last child @ 45 and ttc now..Pray about it I believe that women are more reseliant than ever. make sure you get on all natural progesterone!! Baby dust to ya

[hopefulx2]

Hi, I'm 44 (will be 45 too soon), and am in the process of using an egg donor, you may want to try IVF and then if that fails go straight to donor egg, don't delay, our age is a big factor, so time is of the essence
Good luck!

[Gemmabean]

Where did all you 40-somethings go? Are there any out there TTC? IUI? Naturally? or otherwise? I'd love to hear from you.

Julie

[Rob&Irina]

Julie, give me 2 more months and I'll be there with you...

[baby2mom]

Fertility treatment is really hard at any stage or age of your life.

If you are needing donor eggs or a surrogate mom, i would advise visit South AFrica for your treatment. It is much cheaper and they have a waiting listing of egg donors and surrogates available.

Visit www.baby2mom.co.za or email baby2mom@telkomsa.net for all info

Good luck

[ttcangel]

I too am 49 and ttc. Hubby is 19. We just had a chemical-pregnancy after a 5db det on Oct. 17th. We will both be going in for bt next week and the dr. said we should have an 80%-75% implantation on our 2nd try. Our prayers and thoughts are with everyone.

[BabySteps]

Cindy!! I have 3 healthy boys as a result of using an ED. I must admit I wished my own eggs were good but I had a couple of things going against me, age and I also had chemo a few years ago (I am ok now). There are options out there for you!!! As far as the uterus... mine was not ideal. I had a bicornuate (heart shaped) uterus. I had an operation to fix it. I got pregnant with triplets with the help of an egg donor. I had a great pregnancy and my boys are healthy. I honestly never thought that I would be able to carry a child. I was looking into adoption before I learned about using and egg donor. You may be fine and be able to use your own eggs. I do not want to scare you, I just want to let you know that there is an option that will increase your success at a baby. BTW, I love my boys as if they came from my own eggs. It is not until I am on this forum and the topic comes up that I even think about it. Good luck to you and pm me anytime!