[Gemmabean]

I went to the adoption forum today. I don't like it there, so I'm gonna stay here. There's something different that goes on on this forum, but maybe that's because I've been coming here for over 3 years and I feel like I "know" and care about some of you, and you me.

I tried to share some of what I've learned, just like I've done here and I got uh, repremanded? I'm still trying to learn the ropes.

Thank you for your support!

Hope everyone is well.
Love and hugs,
Julie

[shb24]

that seems strange... glad you are here to stay with us! we love you here!

Shelly

[mlb]

Why would they reprimand you? What part of the forum were you in? I am so sorry if that happened, I hate when people are judgemental.

[CryingInside]

Hey Julie. I'm not sure what forum you were on, but I read up on this one all the time:

FertileThoughts.com : Ultimate Resource for Infertility, Pregnancy, Adoption, Parenting, Surrogacy

Their adoption forum is pretty slow, but if you read on the parenting after adoption you can get some pretty good info from those who have been there done that.

[tulip23]

Julie,
Thats very unfortunate that your thoughts n opinions were judged they way they were in the other forum.I'm sure thats just the "adaptation process" of that forum and eventually they will be just as supportive as all of us here. Having said that..I looooveeee to have you here with us..stay on!!

Julie, I have no clue about the adoption process or the options that are available in the US for adopting a child so I'm probably not the best person to give you suggestions about what is the best way for you to get a child but I want to tell you that I'm always there to support you and be by your side when you need me ...and even when you don't.

I was wondering if you could try doing a surrogate in India. I've heard its relatively inexpensive out there and there are good world class facilities that will help you through it. Not sure if this is an option for you but thought I might just suggest.

[Gemmabean]

Tulika,

Yes I've heard of that, in fact two men who work with my sister are having a baby that way (they refer to it as "rent a womb"!)

I think that is pretty expensive, they are doing it now in the Ukraine too. But since I couldn't use my own eggs, I'd have to get donor eggs, which would add an additional expense. But thanks for thinking of me!!!

Thanks for your suggestion and I'm always open to more

As I read in one of my books about adoption:

Your child is out there
It's just a matter of
Finding the right people
To help you find him or her.

Love & hugs,
Julie

[Gemmabean]

Last night I watched:

Griffin & Phoenix (Divorced, disconnected from his kids and living in a gloomy bachelor's pad, Griffin (Dermot Mulroney) is already down when he's diagnosed with inoperable cancer. Thus, it's with resignation that he enrolls in a class about accepting death -- never dreaming that he'll learn to accept life instead. Hope comes in the form of his academic adviser, the lovely Phoenix (Amanda Peet). Soon, the two embark on a romance that will change both their lives.)



Phoenix is unable to have children. And in one scene they are walking down the street and there is a mom YELLING and SCREAMING at her 10 or 12 year old kid, and Phoenix says something like "hey! stop that! don't yell at him, leave him alone" and the mom's like "hey you nut job, this is none of your business" and then Phoneix sees there is a baby in the minivan too and she says "you have a baby too!!!" and then she just looses it and starts banging the other woman's stroller on the ground "it's not fair it's not fair" sobbing and crying and finally crumbling on the ground.

Oh man, I could SO feel her pain! And I thought of you guys. I've wanted to do something similar SO many times.

I guess that's the difference between reality and the movies. I'd prolly be locked up if I let loose like that!

It was a good movie, a bit sad, but sometimes that kind of movie puts things into perspective.



Some of you may remember when I witnessed a mom telling her 2-year-old she couldn't stand the sight of him and to go stand on the other side of this outdoor patio where we were eating. He went and stood next to a wall and cried, and I sat at my table and cried. I really wanted to bang her or her stroller around! BUt I just sat and cried.

Love and hugs,
Julie

[shb24]

omg, that is so sad. i'm not sure i would have been able to keep my cool. it kills me, some of the things that go on with babies and children.

[jenedens6102]

Oh Julie, I'm so sorry that you were reprimanded on the sister site. That's not right. I've been there as well as that was our plan for 2007 to start saving for adoption. I wanted to drink in as much information as I could from those who had been there before me.
As for the movie, I think I'm going to have to rent it. Sounds like a good one to watch. I don't like that it's sad but I do like movies that relate to where I've been and can be a show for infertility and how it affects people.

[jenedens6102]

Also, when I was looking into adoption I also bought the Complete Adoption book. I never knew so much went into the adoption process before that book!

[sarah16]

Yup, I never post there except to say good luck or congrats because there are many people who and quick to point out whatever they think is "right" and everyone else's opinion is wrong and why.

I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I use it still for information but usually just check it every couple of weeks.

Originally Posted by Gemmabean

I went to the adoption forum today. I don't like it there, so I'm gonna stay here. There's something different that goes on on this forum, but maybe that's because I've been coming here for over 3 years and I feel like I "know" and care about some of you, and you me.

I tried to share some of what I've learned, just like I've done here and I got uh, repremanded? I'm still trying to learn the ropes.

Thank you for your support!

Hope everyone is well.
Love and hugs,
Julie

[Anastasia]

Julie - I too have been on the sister adoption site and didn't get the same good vibe as I had here. Also, I love that scene in Griffen & Phoenix when she goes off on that horrible mom. I think I cried when I saw it the first time, because I have felt that exact same way, where you just want to slap these people.

So glad you are sticking around this forum.

Ana

[Gemmabean]

Thank you ALL for your support. I really appreciate it.

We still all have the common goal here of wanting to be a mom and have a family.

If you do want to know what I'm doing, please feel free to follow along on my blog

Like I've said here before, it's my feeling that if I know 10 things and you know 10 things, then together we know 20, and that's wonderful. After all, I believe that's part of what life's about, helping your fellow woman.



Love and hugs to all,
Julie

[Gemmabean]

Originally Posted by jenedens6102

As for the movie, I think I'm going to have to rent it. Sounds like a good one to watch. I don't like that it's sad but I do like movies that relate to where I've been and can be a show for infertility and how it affects people.

Jen, check out my blog, on the right hand side I have a list of "Relative" films (films about building families, infertility & adoption)

J

[Gemmabean]

I'm just so happy to feel like I'm back in the game, if that makes any sense. I was so low in July and August, just lower that I'd ever been. But now I have new hope.

I don't know how we are gonna manage it financially or where the money is going to come from, but I have hope and faith that it will come, and the child will find us when the time's right.

I watched an "Adoption Story" on Discovery Health Channel this morning and the dad said "There's a child for every family and a family for every child." Isn't that beautiful?

I hope our's finds us soon!