[Gemmabean]

POAS = BFN

survived mammo - ask if they have digital when you get one, it gets a better image therefore cancer can be detected earlier

you know my philosophy has always been if I know 10 things and you know 10 things, together we know 20.

I missed my calling, I should have been a teacher, I always want others to learn from me, or maybe that's the mom in me.

Our first home study meeting is tomorrow, and I'm excited and worried. Everyone say a big prayer at 2 pm eastern

I just have a bit more paperwork to copy and sign tonight and then I'm (we're) done. Oh yeah, and lemme tell ya girls, DH is not big on forms, so I did them all and he signed where I told him after he looked them over. I understand this is pretty normal practice (sorry if I'm offending any man who might happen to be reading this).

Fingers, toes and eyes crossed,
Julie

[meremere]

KEEP POSTING ON HERE TO please! I love to read BOTH!
You make me laugh at times and you also hit the nail on the head about the STUPID car comercials about VW! My DH and I actually either turn the channel or mute it when it comes on and we have a VW but not the Mini Van ( love my oddessy!)
You time is coming and yes I agree with all the paper work when we started the process in Houston before we moved DH was up to his ears in paperwork. We were both working at the time but he looked at the stack and pushed it to me! He did the same thing on his green card paper work though! HUMPH! MEN LOL

[Gemmabean]

Didn't sleep much last night, too worried about stupid stuff like what to wear to the big meeting today (first meeting of 3 with social worker Beth for our home study).

And not sure why I bothered to come to work because my mind is SO not here!

I'll try to post tonight about how the first big meeting goes.

Cross those fingers and toes!

Love and hugs,
J

[sarah16]

Julie thinking of you. I too did all the paperwork, except my DH had to fill out a 31 page questionaire by himself. I thought he was going to tear it up at some point. When you are done with your homestudy tonight you will be like that's all?? I'm sure of it. Good luck!!

[jenedens6102]

Thinking of you today Julie. What an exciting day for you guys. Don't worry about trying to impress Beth, just be yourself!

[sarah16]

Any stories about your homestudy??

[Gemmabean]

It was our worst fear. One look at our financials and she was like how do you expect to pay for adoption and care for a child?

I said that we'd plannd to apply for grants when our home study was complete and she said she'd never heard of anyone financing and entire adoption on grants and that most grants are for special needs children.

She said we need to consider an older child in the state system that we could foster and then adopt. She also said there was NO WAY we could qualify financially for international adoption so we should forget about that. My heart was broken.

We know there are so many people who have so much less than us but have kids. It's so frustrating that a lot of our debt is from infertility treatment and meds.

I just cried when we got in the car.

The meeting was only an hour, but that may be because we'd done ALL our paper work except our autobiographies.

I aske her if it was worth continuing with the home study and she said yes. And we've decided that we will continue and hope that some where, some how there is a baby for us.

I'm sorry I didn't post sooner, I've just been so upset and like I said, this is why we'd ruled out adoption 5 years ago, because we didn't think we could "qualify" financially, and it makes me SO sad that that's what keeping us from having a family, just like not being able to afford IVF. And we aren't even poor! We just have jobs that pay crap and don't give raises!

It's just the sad irony of our story, that we left a metro area and left half my salary 8 years ago to start a family in a rural area, and now we can't "afford" to have a family. oh, it's just SO not fair!

I've got a case of the "why mes!?!?!?!" really badly again. But am trying to keep my chin up and press on with the other two home study meetings.

Love,
Julie

[sarah16]

How frustrating. I'm glad you are going to keep with the homestudy. Please keep us updated.

[jenedens6102]

Oh Julie, I'm sorry the meeting didn't go the way you had hoped. It's never fair to have someone tell you that you don't qualify. Like you said, many people have families and no money to pay for them but with adoption it's just different. Don't let her get you down. Keep pressing forward, praying that somewhere out there you have a child waiting for you.

[rebecca0130]

I am sorry, Julie, keep the faith.

[mondk]

Julie: At the time of our homestudy, we had maybe a thousand in checking and a couple thousand in savings then my dh had his 401k. Our social worker barely made mention of anything financial. I know today's economy is rough and we actually had to file bankruptcy just after our adoption just to pay off our credit cards that we used for the adoption. (We didn't file a 7, we filed a 13 and are still making $800/mo. payments to the court)

And don't forget about the adoption tax credit...we got back $7 grand last year because of it and we have $4 grand more coming to us on this year's (for some reason they divided it up).

Are you going through an agency? If not, who recommended your social worker? I know homestudies take time and all, but I'd consider starting over with a different sw. Keep me updated; if I come across anything that I think might help, I will let you know!

Blessings, Michelle

[meremere]

I am proud of you for keeping the faith and not giving up! You go girl we love you!!! You are a testament to so many women on here me the first to say it!!! Keep going!!!

[Gemmabean]

I know, SW is just trying to do what's best for us and best for a child, but still it's so dang frustrating when so much of our debt is from IF treatment that DIDN'T WORK!!!!

We found out DH has life insurance through work, and I've been trying to check with my bosses, but they are not being responsive. I'd asked back in August if we had any adoption benefits and the SW said to ask again, but still no response. They have both been in today and one of them has even sent me email but still no response about life insurance or adoption benefits. Can I just say, working for a "mom and pop" is something I will try to avoid in the future (said the former fed. gov. employee - I miss havin BENEFITS! and an HR person!!!)

Ok, so we found out the value of our cars and added that to our financial list. So SW said things are looking better. We also had to give proof of our new interest-free credit card, because it's what we'd planned to use to pay for adoption with, and she said that was good.

We also included what's left of our IRA and 401k, with is so sad, but SW said it still helps. And I even included $150 worth of savings bonds I've been hanging on to!

Whew! The things we do for love!

We still watch the Adoption Stories every morning, even though they are ALL "happily-ever-afters" i mean that's all they show, I wanna see THIS part, the hard part! I think it's good for us to watch because it makes us talk about adoption and you KNOW how men can be sometimes about talking about stuff....

Ok, back to work! Thanks again for all your support, I couldn't do it withoutcha!

Love and hugs,
Julie

[tulip23]

Gosh Julie...I don't believe that there is someone who has a never-say-die attitude like yours. You are such a strong woman. You never give up on yourself and thats why I'm sure neither will God. I understand that its been very dificult and exhausting..sometimes hopeless too and its alright when you ask the "why me?" question once in a while but end of the day you emerge a fighter and that is what works in your favor. I just hope your finances match up to the adoption requirements. In fact I'm pretty confident that it will and when I return frrom my vacation from India I'll get to hear some really good news from you. Keep up the spirit Julie. Cheers!!!!

[Annaandy]

Keeping you in my prayers, keep the faith!!!