[KuddleyGal]

Originally Posted by Gemmabean

And we aren't even poor! We just have jobs that pay crap and don't give raises!

JULIE... and lets add we both live in the wonderful commonwealth that offers zero for us hardworking individuals who get paid nothing and get no raises!!!


Sorry still madder than a hornets nest over here. About your home study

Sending you a big ole hug

[jenedens6102]

Julie, while I know going further into debt is not the idea....have you checked with the banks in your area. I know when I was looking into adoption there were certain banks in the area that offered interest free or interest reduced loans specifically to help with the financial burden of adoption.

[Gemmabean]

Originally Posted by tulip23

when I return frrom my vacation from India I'll get to hear some really good news from you. Keep up the spirit Julie. Cheers!!!!

IS IT SAFE FOR YOU TO TRAVEL NOW?!?!? Big sister wants to know? Will you have email in India? Eat some good food for me while you are there?!?!?!

[tulip23]

Asked my obgyn 100 times if its safe for me and he said it should be fine.Unfortunately he has prohibited me from eating all the roadside food and thats where the taste of Ibdia lies.But yup I'll get myself pampered all the way ... after all I'll be with my mom

[Gemmabean]

Originally Posted by tulip23

Asked my obgyn 100 times if its safe for me and he said it should be fine.Unfortunately he has prohibited me from eating all the roadside food and thats where the taste of Ibdia lies.But yup I'll get myself pampered all the way ... after all I'll be with my mom

I guess it's ok then, but will you have internet to keep in touch????? Can you meet my cousin in Delhi? He is a pilot, alone in India

[shb24]

Julie - I just know things are going to work out for you and you ARE going to have a baby of your very own someday soon. No one with as much persistence and desire as yourself will be without what they so deserve! I can't wait to read all about YOUR happily ever after. It WILL happen!!!!

Shelly

[tulip23]

Originally Posted by Gemmabean

I guess it's ok then, but will you have internet to keep in touch????? Can you meet my cousin in Delhi? He is a pilot, alone in India

I wish I could visit your cousin. I would be landing in Mumbai ,Julie and then rush to my parents to attend the wedding. However, if you have his number I can call him . As for internt, yes I would have access to it..just not the time

[Gemmabean]

Hey girls,

Sorry I've been away so long, but I know some of you have been keeping up via my blog.

We've had 2 out of 3 home study meetings.

Tomorrow we meet with our adoption attorney.

We aren't too happy with our social worker, but you can't change mid stream. We just hope that we will pass the home study and that she will write a good report for us in the end.

I think she is still concerned about our finances. We've told her my parents are paying for the adoption attorney and we got a no interest credit card (for the first year) to help pay for everything else.

I know there are people who raise probably more than one child on less money than we have.

It's just my very worst fear that it would all come down to money. We just won't know until it's all done. We have asked her more than once if we should continue with the home study (as it is costing $1300 so far and one more $600 payment so that's $1900) she says yes, she feels comfortable continuing.

The dogs were SO good when she came to the house. I'd told them all week "Beth is coming, you have to be good when Beth is here, Beth is coming..." And they were so good, Beth wanted to take them home! It was just so nervewracking having someone come to judge how we live. I felt the house couldn't be clean enough, but you also don't want it to be too clean or they (the social worker) will think that a child may disrupt your perfect life.

It makes me even more jealous of "normal" women who get pregnant with no IF treatment, etc, no home inspection! Boy, they will just never know how good they've got it!

It has been a very different experience than our infertility journey, I must say. People are more involved, friends and family. It's a very interesting phenomonon. I guess more people have been touched by adoption, than by infertility. Everyone seems to want to be on board. Everyone asks how it's coming along. Everyone tells me stories about who they know who was adopted. It's just a completely different experience. Not isolating like infertility. I just hope upon hope that the end result is the baby and family that we've been longing for.

After the home visit is over, and the waiting begins, I hope to be back here more.

I hope my blog can encourage some of you (even just one of you) to consider adoption at some point. You know, hind site is 20/20 so once again, I hope somone can benefit from mine. I wish we had looked into adoption much sooner.

Just like infertility, please feel free to ask me any quesstions, you know I'm not quite.

OH and you wouldn't believe how many family members say to us "oh, we thought you didn't want children" ACK! It makes me wanna SCREAM!!!

Ok, check the blog. Keep in touch. I hope you are all well.

Syreeta girl? are you taking charge? being aggressive???

Tulip? are you back from India yet???

Love you and miss you all,
Julie
xoxo

[sarah16]

Julie, glad to hear from you. You are almost done!! Hang in there.

[Gemmabean]

Our thrid and final home study meeting is Friday, Dec. 5. We will be so happy to have that phase behind us.

Now, the search begins and according to our adoption attorney, it's all about networking.

She advised us to get an 800 number (866), make business cards to hand out and send a letter with our Christmas cards this year letting everyone know we are hoping to adopt.

I have gotten scrapbook software (such a difficult decision for this graphic designer - but it is making things a bit easier) to create our profile. I find it very difficult that we have to "sell" ourselves, but the profile is what a birth mom will see first and we want to get her attention.

Our attorney said that anything could catch her attention, one of our dogs, where we live, the fact that DH is English, you just never know what a birth mom is looking for.

Our social worker said it will take her 2 weeks to complete our home study report after our final meeting on the 5th (good grief!), then we are free to adopt.

[Gemmabean]

I just need to vent for a moment! Our social worker REJECTED one of our reference letters "because she didn't answer all the questions!" what in the world! I'm just so upset and didn't want to post on my blog where my references might see.

I just feel like our social worker is SO against us, and now I'm really getting afraid she isn't going to pass us for the home study.

I am just beyond frustrated at this point and we have our final meeting with her on Friday and I don't want to be all pissy with her for our final meeting, so I need to put on my big girl pants and hope for the best.

Thanks for letting me vent. I'm just SO....

j

[lovingwife]

Originally Posted by Gemmabean

I just need to vent for a moment! Our social worker REJECTED one of our reference letters "because she didn't answer all the questions!" what in the world! I'm just so upset and didn't want to post on my blog where my references might see.

I just feel like our social worker is SO against us, and now I'm really getting afraid she isn't going to pass us for the home study.

I am just beyond frustrated at this point and we have our final meeting with her on Friday and I don't want to be all pissy with her for our final meeting, so I need to put on my big girl pants and hope for the best.

Thanks for letting me vent. I'm just SO....

j

Can your reference redo the letter or add whatever was missing? I can't imagine how frustrated you must be.

[Gemmabean]

Dana,

I don't know. I just don't know what to do. And our 5th reference didn't respond. Don't these people KNOW what this means? I thought they knew how important this is to us.

I would feel so akward asking her to do it again, and I don't know if our social worker would accept a "re-do."

We do have 3 references, which is what we needed, at least 3, but I'm so disappointed in the other two, and shocked. They are both women in their 60s who we've known for many years, and I thought they realized what this all meant for us.

I'm just kinda freakin out.

[lovingwife]

Originally Posted by Gemmabean

Dana,

I don't know. I just don't know what to do. And our 5th reference didn't respond. Don't these people KNOW what this means? I thought they knew how important this is to us.

I would feel so akward asking her to do it again, and I don't know if our social worker would accept a "re-do."

We do have 3 references, which is what we needed, at least 3, but I'm so disappointed in the other two, and shocked. They are both women in their 60s who we've known for many years, and I thought they realized what this all meant for us.

I'm just kinda freakin out.

I guess it's hard for people to understand just how important this is to you if they've never been in a similiar situation. Maybe you could see what the social worker says on Friday. I'm sure she's not working against you, it just feels like it at times. Could you give the 2 that "forgot" a gentle reminder? Like, just mention that you're meeting with the social worker and you've really been working hard getting everything in order since this means SO MUCH to you and DH. Keep us posted on the home study.

[Gemmabean]

Dana,

We told them how important this was when we asked them to be our references, and gave them the opportunity to say no, because it would take up some of their time.

That's why I don't understand. I'm wondering what the implications are for the one who didn't answer all the questions - what will the social worker read into that? and with the 5th not responding at all.

I have sent several "gentle reminders"..

Dana, thanks for your support, I really appreciate it!

Love & hugs,
Julie