[Gemmabean]

Greetings girls,

Update: I have been away awhile, I have been very depressed about not being able to get and stay pregnant. And since I turned 43 this year, well, I've pretty much lost all hope. It is difficult for me to be supportive of you all while I am so terribly depressed so I've stayed away. I have been to the deep pit of dispair.

Well, I recently had a call from my Aunt who works in a NICU and until recently she thought we didn't have kids because we didn't WANT kids (I HATE that people assume that!) She lives on the other side of the country so we don't have much contact.

Anyway, she said that in her NICU, unwanted newborns get abandoned, and would we be interested in adopting one because the only cost is the attorney fee.

So, I'm ever so happy to report that we are waiting to adopt a newborn!!!

I'm kinda freakin out because I really hit rockbottom about two weeks ago. Fortunately I sought medical help and she referred me to a counselor who has started helping me deal with moving on with my life without children. So now I'm feeling a little MANIC as you can imagine.

We have to write a brief letter about ourselves and I am of course including that we've been TTC for 8 years now, had some IF treatment and 3 MCs. So OBVIOUSLY we want a family.

So we have to get our letter to my aunt, and then we wait. She is VERY optimistic that we won't have to wait long.

I'm still in shock!

She says that because she's been there so long, she can put us on the top of the pile!

You just never know what route you can/will take to motherhood.

It's a very surreal feeling, it's a little like being pregnant and not knowing when I am due...

So, I just wanted to share with you all. I hope you are all well and having success with IVF. I do think of you often and miss you. But it just got to the point where it was too upseting for me to visit here, and I didn't wanna bring everyone down.

Love and hugs,
Julie

[jenedens6102]

Julie, Big hugs and many congratulations to you ! I can understand how difficult it is to come to the forum and seeing such success when deep inside you are still asking "why me?" I've been there. And I try to be sensitive with my posts and comments knowing that while I have had success now I still remember the pain. It's an answer to prayer that you got to talk to your aunt and that such things have now begun to unfold in your lives. To me it wasn't about biology, it was about being a mother. And girlfriend, your time is coming. I have a dear friend/mentor of mine from when I was younger and in church. She and her husband were older and also couldn't have children due to something that now is treatable....anyway, they adopted through the same means. Their daughter was left and abandoned after birth. She's now 15 years old and wouldn't have her life any other way. She knows that biologically she belongs to someone else but her parents will always be the ones who raised her from birth. It goes back to the saying that it takes more then sperm to make someone a father! So here I am praying for your miracle baby to come soon, knowing that you will love him/her and cherish them for a lifetime!

[lovingwife]

Julie-that is such great news. Your post brought tears to my eyes. Please keep us posted on your journey to becoming a mom!!!! Thanks for sharing your joyous news.

[Gemmabean]

Thanks Jen

Thanks Dana

[bq122]

Julie thats awesome congratulations. I wish you the best with your new baby....God bless..

[tulip23]

Julie,
Thats such a wonderful news !!! I sincerely hope this works out for you and you get your lil one soon..you deserve it soo much!! This is what miracles are all about. You never know what route God has in mind for our happiness. I'm so happy for you. I'm sure you will now bounce back to your original strong self and be the one who is always so motivating and supportive and one who can fight anything life throws at . Do keep us updated of all thats going on with the adoption process. With your file at the top of the pile, I'm sure the D-day would come sooner than later. My best wishes and congratulations on the new found reason for joy!!

[Gemmabean]

This is not a traditional adoption. There are no social workers, no home inspections, no age limits, it's because of who I know.

As most of you know, we couldn't afford IVF or adoption.

So it is truly a miracle.

I'd heard of stories of these types of adoptions, in fact, there is a local story about a couple in a similar situation to us. The wife's mom worked as a nurse in an OB office when a very young pregnant girl and her mom came in. They said they didn't know what to do, they couldn't keep the baby. The nurse said her daughter and son-in-law would love to adopt and within 48 hours the baby was born, the paperwork was signed and they had a newborn!

It can happen.

I guess for me, I just had to totally give up.

Everyone always told me I would be someone's mom some day

I'm trying to remain cautiously optimistic, but it's difficult not to be very excited!

J

[jenedens6102]

Julie, I knew exactly what you were talking about. And it's a blessing that many don't know exists. Sometimes it's about getting your information out to places such as NICU's or doctor's offices if they'll allow you to. Just like your quote says "you WILL have a baby!"

[Gemmabean]

I'm kind of freaking out, switching gears so quickly, two weeks ago I was lower than low thinking of a life without children and now we could be adopting one in a few weeks?!?!?!?

I'm starting to worry, am I ready, do I have 9 months to prepare. DH doesn't want to tell anyone until we are on our way to pick up a baby, but I think that will kinda freak people out. We've told his parents of course, they are in the UK and I really didn't wanna freakt them out, they gave up on us having kids long ago.

I'm just trying to imagin that I'm pregnant and how would I prepare for that, I just don't know the due date, so that makes things a little trickier

I think we should tell our bosses because we will get the call one day and have to be on a plane the next day. But DH wants to wait.

I wonder if I will get the usual 6 weeks maternity leave or not.

My head is spinning. Luckily I see my counselor tomorrow.

Thank you for understanding. I'm just in such shock, our journey has been SO long and rough.

Love and hugs,
Julie

[Rob&Irina]

Good luck, Julie!

keep us updated on your journey!

[jenedens6102]

Julie, most companies will offer a 6 week maternity leave for those adopting. I am one who feels it's always better to be honest and up front - sometimes employers don't like a big surprise and a quick leave. If you feel comfortable enough with your boss, talk to him/her. As for preparing for baby, you could always have a shower after the little one arrives. I know many people who have done this and it's so rewarding because not only are they showering you and the baby with gifts and essentials but they get to see that tiny person they are helping to support through life.
I'm glad you are seeing a counselor, I can't imagine our Julie Bean being so low and I pray that you are back to your Mrs. Nerdy Glass self in no time!

[Persephone1881]

Congratulations on this new avenue to becoming parents!

As for the maternity leave, if you're covered under FMLA.. and you should be if you work for a company with more than 15 employees.. you are entitled to up to 12 weeks (unpaid) time off for adopting a child, among other things. A Google search for FMLA or Family and Medical Leave Act will give you more information.

Best of luck to you. I hope your wait isn't long. Congratulations again!

[shb24]

How exciting, Julie! I'm am so happy for you! Things do have a way of working out, don't they?! Where will you be travelling to get your beautiful baby?

Do keep us posted!
Shelly

[sarah16]

How exciting Julie, welcome to the adoption club!!

[mlb]

I am so happy for you! Keep us informed and best of luck on the journey to your child.