[kristyr41982]

My friend works with an agency here in Houston and she told me about a foster to adopt infant program that is free. She said alot of the kids are born to drug addicted moms, but they are usually ok. I know someone who fosters babies and she loves it. I am wondering if anyone has looked into this or are in the process of doing it. My hubby and I are interested. Planning to continue TTC, but want our son to have a sibling while he is still young.

[Staci]

We are in the final stages of adopting through child welfare. We got into it for different reasons as he is my step daughters child and she couldn't care for him. We had to fight for 2 yrs to make sure they didn't get their rights back but we are in the home stretch now and are considering doing it again, by choice this time & obviously we won't know the parents.

Feel free to ask anything you like. We have learned more than we ever wanted to over the last couple of years and wished we had known more to begin with.

Staci

[kristyr41982]

I am so nervous about getting attached and losing a baby. I really would like to pursue this option. I think it is great. I just worry so much that we will get in over our head. We would like to give our son a sibling close to his age. Looks like IF treatments are not something that will give us that in the near future. Congrats!

[Staci]

Boy we have had our share of ups & downs. It isn't easy but honestly it is not a lot different from the ups & downs of infertility treatments. It is probably a little more difficult in our situation because of the added element of caring for my step daughter & wishing she would do better but at the same time knowing that it is best for her son to stay with us. On the other hand we also knew when they were doing something wrong before the caseworker did.

The thing you will have to consider is that a lot of the time the children have siblings & they prefer to adopt them together & foster them together if they can. In some ways they is a good indicator though that the baby will be adoptable, for instance if they had already had other childen taken they likely won't succeed on the new one. It is unfortunately very common for girls to have a baby taken & just go have another. Very sad. They tend to also give them way more chances than you think they should have which gets frustrating.

It is a lot to think about, but it is also very rewarding to know that you are giving a child a chance at a better life. It is amazing how quickly you can bond too. I have not had one of my own yet but I just can't imagine loving one any more than I love that little boy.

You will have to take foster care classes & have a home study etc, but it is all free including the adoption. Plus you get monthly checks & healthcare for the child. Ours will get healthcare until he is 18 because he is being adopted as well. So there are a lot of advantages too.

Staci

[mgmsrk]

Hi Kristy,

We are in the process of adopting through child welfare also, but we are not going for a baby and we will not be fostering first.

I have been through programs in NY and here in PEI Canada so I have seen a few things. One thing to keep in mind about fostering to adopt is that most child welfare agencies will take years to legally break the parental bonds generally 3 or more. That is a long time to take care of a child and risk loosing him or her, now if you are just fostering than that is still hard but not as heart breaking. Next “Healthy” infants don’t often come up for adoption through the public system, many will have immediate problems with addiction and long term health issues. Waiting times for healthy infants is often very long, 5-10 years, and at some point your age will come into play. Most agency have restrictions on the age difference between the parents and the child. The sooner you start the better you are.
I think fostering is wonderful, but it is not for everyone. If you go ahead with this program you need to be prepared to treat any child placed in your home as a foster child only. If adoption works out that would be great but you need to be prepared that it will not.

Of course sometimes things just work out quickly and easily and you may get to avoid any heartache. Most Child Welfare agencies also have free information classes that they run frequently. Give your local office a call and sign yourselves up, it will help you make your decision.

[Staci]

I think the waiting time & availability differs greatly by location. We have actually turned down more babies than I can count because we just couldn't take on more at the time. Several times they have had as many as 4 infants sitting in the hospital waiting for a foster because the parents weren't allowed to take them home after they were born. All of them healthy. I know a couple of fosters that now have one of those babies & no issues. This is an inner city county so the numbers are higher there & the only reason we even know about it is through other fosters and bcuz our little one came from that county. Our adoption specialist knows we are interested and we don't get calls & a lot of the time we hear about children before they do. The system is definately not smooth.

Yes they do give them a lot of time to try to get their children back, but our state has a 15 month rule now that requires them to start asking for termination. Of course, if the parent is trying they won't do it, but it does help move things along. They are trying to stop the problem of having kids in the system for 5 or 6 years.

How are you getting an infant for adoption from Child Welfare? Are the parents signing rights over at birth? That doesn't happen often here bcuz girls that want to give them up for adoption know they can go through a lawyer get money for it.

[mgmsrk]

Staci,

The calls for babies you are receiving are for fostering and the original posters goal is to adopt an infant through fostering. Most Foster children do not become available for adoption. And if you goal is to adopt loosing a string of babies could be devastating and I wanted her to be prepared for that.

If you are asking me how I’m “getting” an infant from Child Welfare, as stated above I’m not. We are pursuing the adoption of older children and or a sibling group. Technically even if we were interested we do not qualify for an infant through Child Welfare here, we are too old. The short wait is 10 years in our Province and there is limit of 40 years between parents and adopted children.