[Jakecwu]

My wife and I are just beginning to explore the adoption process as we near the deciding point, IVF vs. Adoption. One of the concerns I have is in regards to our history. One of us has a personal history of being a victim of sexual abuse as a child and we've heard that this can be a stumbling block in the process. Neither of us has any criminal history and we're upstanding middle class type folks with a solid relationship with each other and those around us. We want to, obvisouly, be honest throughout the process, but we also don't want to jeopardize our chances of adoption just because we were the victim of a crime nearly 30 years ago. Does this even come up? What's the story? Does anyone know? Thanks!!

G-

[angie056]

Jake - We are doing IVF but are planning on adopting in the future as well. We have the same situation and I hadn't planned on hiding this information as I am completely sure it won't be an issue (sounds like you are too). I have not heard it can be a stumbling block though. Does it cause problems passing a homestudy?

I hope everything works out for you, whatever you decide.

[Jakecwu]

I have "heard", for what that's worth that with some social workers it can cause a bit of an issue because of the idea that victims are more likely to become offenders. It seems like a ludicrous notion to me, but that's what "they" say. I was hoping to hear some success stories on here or find out if it even comes up during the homestudy process.

[gangof4]

I know you want to be completely honest but I read in a adoption book that you may not want to reveal past sexual abuse if you feel that it may jeopardize your chances. Some things can remain private. As long as you didn't seek counseling for it and it isn't recorded in your therapists notes then you can easily keep it to yourself.
Because I think that they may asks for your records if you've been in therapy. Which seems like a total violation to me but I guess they want to make sure the adopter isn't a total loose canon.

[anilorak13ska]

The question does come up regarding your past, but basically to make sure you have dealt with it. So, if you have had counseling and the counselor deemed that you have dealt with it, that's what the SW will want to know. Not sure if they request the paperwork, bc we didn't have anything to report.

Our HS (homestudy) was very uneventful. Actually, both of our HSs, one being for our county's foster care. I was actually quite disappointed at how little they delved into our past and our hopes for a family.

On the other hand, only you know if this is something that still has any meaning in your life worth mentioning. But if you're going to feel like you're hiding something, it may come out afterall, and I don't know if they can refuse approving you for lying if they found out.

You may want to call a few agencies you're considering and anonymously ask how they view your circumstances.

good luck, whatever you decide!

[sarah16]

When we did our homestudy last year we both had to fill out a 30 page questionaire ranging with questions about faith, tramatic childhood experiences, infertility, and health. They were very invasive questions so maybe the homestudy will vary from state to state.