[JessicaN]

Well I need some advice I really don't know what to do. DH and I have been TTC for 5 years now with no success due to male fertility. We just had a failed cycle of iui and were planning on waiting until the fall to see if his numbers improved before deciding what to do.

Out of the blue I received a call yesterday from a girl we know of but don't really know (she lives with DH's uncle). She stated that something bad happened to her 3 months ago and she ended up pregnant. She wasn't sure if she was going to have the baby or not so she hasn't been to a doctor yet. She said that for a long time we have been her plan B. That she knew of us and knew that we had been dealing with infertility. She wanted to know if we would be interested in adopting the baby! We were thinking of doing adoption eventually but I never thought we would have an opportunity to adopt a baby. One HUGE problem is that we just spent the last of our saving last month on our iui. We hadn't planned for this and I am worried that now that the opportunity has come up we won't be able to afford it. We are going to meet with her tomorrow to talk about it. I told her that we were definately interested but I have to figure out the legal stuff and expenses.

Basically I don't know where to start. Should I just go with an adoption attorney because we already have the birthmother. Or should we contact an agency? What is going to be less expensive?

[gangof4]

Jessica, I just wanted to say that that is quite an exciting opportunity! I'm really not all that sure what you should do but I do have a friend who adopted her older daughter that way. Someone they knew approached them when she was pregnant about adopting her baby. I believe that they got an adoption lawyer to handle all the legalities.

Perhaps you should have your meeting with her first before you hire an attorney. You might want to feel her out first to get a sense of just how serious she is.

good luck!

[sarah16]

I agree, find an adoption attorney, they are usually going to be the cheapest. Our agency though will still work with us if we find the birthmom and then we don't have to pay the finding fee. The positives of working with an agency is they can give the birthmom some counseling and help her through the process. Good luck. Just an FYI if you and the birthmom live in different states you will have to follow the laws of the state the birthmom lives in.