[CryingInside]

Dh and I have been talking about adoption. Truthfully we are kinda at the point where if we are going to be spending so much money we would really like to have something to show for it at the end of it all. I know that there are no guarantees that it will all work out with adoption, but I think the chances of a positive ending are better, right?

Well, the truth is that I honestly have no idea where to even start the process or start thinking about the process. I looked up some stuff online, but really there is so much out there and I feel a bit overwhelmed. Does anyone have any tips or good website information I can check out?

[amfandrmf]

Hi Stephanie,
Good luck with your journey. I can't really offer much advice, but I've been starting too look as well. I'm on my last try at IVF, so after this we will start the adoption process. Right now we've been leaning towards Bethany, they seem like a great christian-based organization. Let me know if you find out any interesting information.

[futuremom2b]

Stephanie,
I understand how you feel. My DH and I adopted and I can't tell you what an amazing son I have. First you need to decide if you want to adopt internationally or domestically. There are pros and cons of each.
My DH and I decided to do international because we weren't very keen on the idea of meeting the birth mom, and a lot of domestic adoptions are called "OPEN Adoptions", which means you meet the birth mom and some times keep in touch after the adoption. We didn't want to deal with that. Also with domestic adoption you are usually picked by the birth mom and that could happen really quickly or it could take months or years. With Intenational we had a time frame which made us feel better about getting the end result we wanted, which was our baby! As you can see we also did IVF after our son was home and it worked, and you have time to do the same as our odds decrease per my RE after 35!!!!! I see you are 25 so that helps with your family planning! Research International adoption vs. Domestic and talk about the pros and cons with your DH to find the right fit. We were ok with bringing a child into our family that wasn't exactly our race and that discussion needs to happen as well. Some people pick domestic adoption due to wanting a specific race that "fits in their family better"???? Those are all private discussions you need to have! After you decide which way to go... Then you need to find an agency that works best for you. We used Rainbow House International for our adoption as they brought home my husband's little brother, and a few neices and nephews, as well as our son! We also liked them because they were local, so that may be important to you as well!
The worst part about adoption is the TONS of paperwork, the home-study (you'll get scared), and the waiting..... The end result is worth all of these things!
Let me know if you have further questions or concerns! I don't mind sharing pictures as well... As it helped me to see an acutal baby that was adopted before I got my son!
Prayers to you and DH!

Sorry this is so long!

[sarah16]

Stephanie, I'm interested in international adoption and I have looked up childrenshope.net There is a packet that they will give you that is VERY helpful that breaks down cost and what to do to adopt.

[Tabitha]

Have your been to Adoption Forums, Message Boards, Discussion Groups. Adopting, Foster, Baby Adoptions ?

[CryingInside]

Oh wow! Thank you ladies! I had a talk with Dh about it last night. He is somewhat on board, but still feels like he needs a little time to think about it more. I know what a huge decision it is, so I wanted all the info I could get my hands on before we decided for sure! I really appreciate all of the feedback!

Futuremom2b...I will definately keep you in mind for my future questions!

[futuremom2b]

Stephanie,

If you have an e-mail address and when you are ready, IM me and I will send you some of our pictures when we went to get our son.
Ready to help when you are ready!

Andrea

[jenedens6102]

Stephanie, the other thing to keep in mind is that while the dream of having a family is priority you don't want to rush into the unknown. I bought two books on adoption when I first started to consider the adventure. One of the books was called "Is Adoption For You?" because truthfully it isn't for everyone. I loved it. I don't remember exactly where you are from but I'll be in Bloomington on Saturday if you want me to bring my two books, maybe we could meet. I'll only be there for a few hours for a baby shower. Let me know. Also, I had to make my own decision on whether we wanted to do private adoption or agency adoption, closed or open, all those things. Then once we made up our minds on what we thought was best I started researching agencies in the area. You can usually find their outline of how much money it will cost and when the money is due. On their websites you'll find information on how they can help you to finance the adoption (loans, grants, etc.). Hope all this helps.