[SanInUtah]

Hi Ladies,

We're TTC but since I'm also an adoptive mom thought I'd pop in and say hello! If you need info on foster-adoption (which is fast and free, btw) then let me know. BTDT and know the drill well.

It's hard to get your head around the idea that you can do both, but doing them simultaneously would be very difficult. I can't imagine being at 100% when ttc on meds/IUI's. Still, if you're willing to commit all of you to a little person then adoption is a second route toward building a family.

My son came to me at age 6.5. I knew before I met him that he was special-needs in the truest sense. He's got issues but we love him. Now, we're looking to add another child and my DH and I think we'd like to go thru the pregnancy part too. Adoption might still happen (again) but not now. We have an agency lined up and have turned down meeting 3 birthmoms in the past year...that's hard. TTC is even harder for us.

Ughhhh.

Hi Ladies (and guys?),


I'm 42, PCOS, 5 failed IUI's, at least one confirmed miscarriage, adoptive mom to a cute little guy. We're looking to have our first natural-born child after 4 years of trying.

Today I had the HSG test. Holy cow! It wasn't as bad as I'd anticipated, not fun either. Being stoned on muscle relaxers and ibuprofen definitely helped! The entire process took about 2mins and netted clear results. The f. tubes are clear. The uterus is being reviewed. Overall, no immediate 'ah hah' from it but great to know nonetheless. If the test is 'good' then we'll start another ride on the merry-go-round.



I've always posted at fertility friend, but since they charge now I'm gonna try it here. It's a pleasure to meet you all. Here's hoping for BFP's for all of us!!!

[jenjean]

i was wondering about foster to adopt..... ive heard good and bad things about this. im afraid that i will get attached and then someone will come and take the child away from me.....
what state are you in...im in texas do they have diff laws.... my dh is up for adoption but the foster to adopt he is a little scared.. please help

[jenjean]

also good luck to you on your ttc

[Poppycorn95]

Hiya. I'm also a foster to adopt mommy. So far we've adopted one from foster care, and are in the process of adopting our second. (With the third just waiting in the wings.

We actually had our first attempt at IVF, and we had a full house of kiddos. Thank goodness for supportive caseworkers and good working relationships with the birth family. They made the difference in our being able to stay sane and make sure the kids were taken care of on appointment days.

[sarah16]

Welcome and good luck on your IF journey.

[SanInUtah]

Originally Posted by jenjean

i was wondering about foster to adopt..... ive heard good and bad things about this. im afraid that i will get attached and then someone will come and take the child away from me.....
what state are you in...im in texas do they have diff laws.... my dh is up for adoption but the foster to adopt he is a little scared.. please help

I think fear is what keeps us safe sometimes. FA can be risky. I know two close friends who made the mistake of bonding before the first disposition hearing on a newborn. That's a mistake. Both went on to get their adoptions done (actually one did 2 and the other 3) but that first bump was horrible...those first babies were placed with biological family members.

There are things you can do to assess the risk. Here's a few:

...When you register with DCFS talk with the worker about your desire to be a FA situation, not a crisis care or temporary care household.

...When the phone rings, ask the caseworker what the birthmom's history is with DCFS. If she has already surrendered 3 kids then she's not going to parent this one. If she's already stated that she wants reconciliation then you're at a higher risk.

...Consider taking in a sibling group (which, in retrospect, I wish I had done just so my child would not have been so lonely/vulnerable) and,

...also consider taking in a child who has been in the system more than a month. The longer that the oldest detained sibling has been in the system, the greater your chance for permanency.

You don't need a good credit score, to be a SAHM, or even a yard to fost-adopt. There are things you'll have to do but they can mostly happen in one single day and are no-brainers. Adopting a puppy at the shelter should be this difficult. It's a bit disconcerting actually!

My only other piece of advice is to get your homestudy packet filled out and turned in at the same time you are taking licensing classes for the foster care credential. Don't do it later. If a judge has to decide between returning a baby to a crack-addicted mother or a stable, prequalified home, his choice will be easier with a homestudy on file.