[Christin2084]

It could be as long as a year or shorter....it all depends on the circumstances and how badly the parents want to get their act together.
If they have other children in care or previous children they've lost rights to then it will happen quicker.

[sarah16]

Originally Posted by *Christin*

It could be as long as a year or shorter....it all depends on the circumstances and how badly the parents want to get their act together.
If they have other children in care or previous children they've lost rights to then it will happen quicker.

How exciting, I'm glad you are starting classes. We are still waiting for our social worker to come back for our 2nd homestudy meeting.

[J*e*n*_78]

christin- things are rolling right along for you! a year or shorter is not very long to wait to adopt- that's great!! Good luck with these classes!!!


I am more and more just wanting to start the adoption process and abandon IVF. We just got a bill in the mail for simple bloodwork that is not covered by our new insurance - $279 for FSH and estradiol!!!!! For one blood draw!! If i am doing stims etc i will get bloodwork every other day!!! There is no way we will be able to afford it. And all of this for just a chance at pregnancy . Adoption would at least be a sure thing... just may take a little longer. Sorry- i know i am venting!!!! Thanks for listening!!!

[sarah16]

Originally Posted by J*e*n*_78

christin- things are rolling right along for you! a year or shorter is not very long to wait to adopt- that's great!! Good luck with these classes!!!


I am more and more just wanting to start the adoption process and abandon IVF. We just got a bill in the mail for simple bloodwork that is not covered by our new insurance - $279 for FSH and estradiol!!!!! For one blood draw!! If i am doing stims etc i will get bloodwork every other day!!! There is no way we will be able to afford it. And all of this for just a chance at pregnancy . Adoption would at least be a sure thing... just may take a little longer. Sorry- i know i am venting!!!! Thanks for listening!!!

I understand, that's why we went with adoption instead of IVF.

[Kari]

Originally Posted by J*e*n*_78

I am more and more just wanting to start the adoption process and abandon IVF. We just got a bill in the mail for simple bloodwork that is not covered by our new insurance - $279 for FSH and estradiol!!!!! For one blood draw!! If i am doing stims etc i will get bloodwork every other day!!! There is no way we will be able to afford it. And all of this for just a chance at pregnancy . Adoption would at least be a sure thing... just may take a little longer. Sorry- i know i am venting!!!! Thanks for listening!!!

I hear you! We did 2 IVF cycles and nothing was covered by insurance. Once we became really strapped for cash we decided it was time for adoption. As much as I really want to experience pregnancy and have more control over our children's first 9 months, I realized what's most important is to be a parent and adoption is a more sure route for us to make that happen.

[rebecca0130]

Kari, you could get the call any day - keep me posted, I am so excited for you.
We were matched with 2 birthmothers (not for very long) before our son's. It was a wonderful roller coaster after that

[Christin2084]

We are really excited to have things moving so quickly! I think it takes about 2mths to have our homestudy approved so we are looking at late summer early fall for a placement. Gives us enough time to get the nursery finished and go through this next IVF.

Sarah16- thats very exciting about the little 3month old!! I hope it works out for you

[rebecca0130]

Christin, I wish you success on both paths - whatever is the right thing for you and DH and your soon to be family, is exactly what is going to happen.

[Christin2084]

rebecca0130-Thank you!

Dh and I have decided to pursue IVF next Jan or Feb. The really good thing about waiting is I will ge to cycle with one of my really good friends. this will be her 1st IVf and she sees the same RE that I do.

So i have been cleaning like crazy getting ready for my trainer this Saturday. he seems like a really nice older gentleman. I guess the way my classes are going to go are like this.. He brings over books and "homework" for us to read and complete then he comes back the next week..we discuss stuff he leaves a new book and homework and thats pretty much it.
He said he will probably do our homestudy for us but if he doesnt another lady he knows will and he will come with her while she does it.

Hope everyone is doing well~~

[sarah16]

We have another homestudy appointment May 1st.

[Claire75]

I think in many ways it's a good idea to look at adoption very early on. The process can take years and is better approached without the bitterness and sadness that follows too many years of TTC. Knowing the heartbreak that follows years of TTC, I'm encouraging a close friend to pursue adoption very early on rather than go through all that.

There’s an anonymous survey on infertility at OpinionDB that's very interesting.
You can see the statistics once complete and it only takes a minute.

Good luck everyone!

[mlb]

On one hand I agree with you about pursuing adoption early, heartbreak, cost of treatments, etc. On the other hand I know that I approached my son's adoption with an open heart and no regrets or what if's. For us that was 2 cycles of IVF, for my sister it was 3 IUI's. It's different for everyone. Though I know I'm very biased, I do think that adopting was the best thing we have ever done. Good luck!

[Christin2084]

So we had our class today and it wasnt that bad..the trainer really liked us! Said our home was the perfect home for foster children. We will meet with our trainer 6 more times then its on to the homestudy.

There are so many forms for us to fill out its ridiculous! The same questions over and over...oh well.

We have to provide them with a picture of us..our home and our pets plus we have to write a letter to our potential foster child and the birth family and we also have to start a scrapbook about our lives for the foster child. The Casework will let the child see it (if they are old enough to understand) showing them where they are going to live..what we look like and what their new room looks like.

So we've got alot of work cut out for us but it will be worth it.

Anyone else have any updates?! Hope everyone is doing well

[Kari]

[quote=Claire75]I think in many ways it's a good idea to look at adoption very early on. The process can take years and is better approached without the bitterness and sadness that follows too many years of TTC. Knowing the heartbreak that follows years of TTC, I'm encouraging a close friend to pursue adoption very early on rather than go through all that.quote]


I do think it's good to consider all options when fertility issues arise. And, at this point I can say that I wished we would have pursued the adoption paperwork/process even earlier. However, it's not something to ever be pushed on anyone. For my DH and me, we had to let the severity of our fertility problems sink in and gradually become OK with some parts of adoption that I was uncomfortable with and out of my control.
For example, with domestic adoption, our social worker wanted us to think about and come to accept: these may apply to some adoption situations - but not all
-being open to expecting parents knowing everything about us in order to make their decision (and being prepared for your feelings when they don't pick you)
-good possiblity of the baby being exposed to drugs/alcohol during pregnancy (we determine to what extent we're comfortable with)
-a hospital visit that is nothing how we originally imagined it
-possibility of birthparents changing their minds within the 3-4 week period in WI before TPR
-our child having a different name on the birth certificate
-need to notify the agency each time we travel to a different state with our child in the 6 month period before the adoption is finalized
-a lifelong connection with the birth family

Now that I have been through many fertility treatments and the adoption process - I realize both are emotional rollercoasters. We've already had a situation in which we were one of the few couples being considered for a baby boy that needed to be brought home from a hospital the very next day. We were excited, anxious, and nervous. Found out the next day we weren't selected and we were devastated! With fertility treatments I had dates to look forward to - the next IVF, the next pregnancy test, etc. With our adoption wait I know there is a possibiliy I may not get another call for a year. So, some days it can be very hard to remain hopeful. Yet on the otherhand, I no longer need injections and my husband isn't dealing with my hormonal outbursts!

All I know is that however any of us women become parents - we will be very thankful and will value every minute of it! We are all stronger because of these struggles.

[sarah16]

Kari are you still working with an RE? Thanks for the added information. It just goes to show that IF and adoption make us stronger people.