[kristyr41982]

Well, I haven't posted in a while. I have been checking in on everyone. Looks like we are all moving right along. We are still working on homestudy paperwork and hoping to have everything done in the next few weeks.

[gangof4]

Kristy- That's awesome! Did your agency give you an idea of how quickly you'll get a placement upon completion?

Arucker- I hope your feeling better(less stressed). Have you found a solution to your quandary?

Carribean Queen- That's about how long it took friends of mine to adopt their son. Good idea to get things rolling.

Sarah- How did your update go?

Afm- We are almost done! I think all we have left to do is complete our last classes and sign a few more papers. Although those papers keep coming and coming.....

[sarah16]

Ladies, get everything you are told in writing!! We were told last year that our update would cost $50. I got the paperwork last week and it's going to be $600!!! We were shocked and upset. So we decided that we are going to pay the money but I did talk to my social worker about it. She said I must have misunderstood because it was $50 just for the background check. Grrrrrrrr....... So here we go for year #2!!!!!!!!!!

[momtocats4now]

Originally Posted by BrandyHagz

Rucker, while I totally get what you're saying here - please keep in mind that most agencies don't restrict the women they work with to their local area. In fact, many/most agencies will tell you the amount of local placements they do vs. the amount of out of state placements.

I would have for you to think that working with a local agency equates to a local situation - because in a many instances, that isn't the case at all.

I don't know what your requirements are - but there are a lot of agencies nationwide who work with families in situations such as yours - they offer 'cradle care' which is basically a local family who will care for the infant during the weeks you wait for ICPC - then once that process is complete, you travel to pick up the child.

Sorry, I'm trying to respond about the Catholic Charities post. I know that they are no longer in MA and other states that have legalized same-sex marriage.

HOWEVER, my nephews were adopted through them and they are apparently wonderful to work with! As we received two lovely boys, I have nothing but positive things to say about them!

[kristyr41982]

I'm thinking about a year. Everyone I have met has waited about a year give or take a few months.

[theresa0604]

Hi girls - how is everyone doing? I'm back home for a little bit in MD but head back down to FL next week to continue to take care of my mom. My sister and I alternate and I'm able to still work while I'm there so it's working well for now. Mom will have to make some longer term decisions after her chemo is over in September but for now we're all hanging in there.

Island girl - thanks for the well wishes for my mom ... we are optimistic. As it relates to the wait, we decided to work with a referral company and they recommended several different agencies who state that the wait could be 6 - 18 months. What I will say is that we have already had quite a bit of activity - one birth mother was even on her way to the hospital in labor but although we haven't been matched yet, we are hopeful that it will be no more than a year from when we were green lighted which was June.

Sarah - sorry to hear about the confusion renewing your homestudy. Our social worker did mention a renewal fee but didn't say anything about getting updated documents - I guess it makes sense but still that would be yet another cost

Caribbean Queen - congrats on getting things started - did you get to meet with your social worker yet?

Gangof4 - I know how excited we got towards the end of our homestudy. Once all the interviews were complete and the paperwork it took about 30 days to get approved and finalized but it was so exciting that day we got approved b/c we really felt like we made some great progress. How long before you hear that you have been approved?

momtocats4now - thank you so much for taking the time to share your story. It is so re-affirming to hear your perspective on things ... this journey is very emotional and at times my emotions can run rappant but hearing your story and reflecting on it helps keep me grounded.

Jen78 - how is it going with the homestudy? My DH and I took a "Pre parenting" class that was required as part of our HS and it was GREAT. The class focused on the adoption process that included: helping us understand the different perspectives of the adoption triangle, the considerations when adopting and decisions about situations we were prepared to accept, how to talk to your child about adoption and the adoption plan that their birth mother made and we were also able to learn from others in the class. If your class is anything like ours you will definitely benefit from it. I hope it is.

Arucker - have you progressed in finding an agency in your state? When we were making decisions about agencies we were directed to agencies that are in states where their is minimal time before the birth mother can relinquish her rights. We live in MD and in this state that is 30 days so it's highly unlikely that we will adopt in this state but I do understand how challenging it can be to wait for 10-14 days in another state, away from work, while ICPC is being processed. I hope things are starting to fall in line for you.

Kristy41982 - how is the homestudy paperwork coming along? I know at first how overwhelming it was but it all finally fell into place. Have you started working with the state yet for foster/adopt or do you have to wait until your HS is approved.

I hope I was able to respond to how things are progressing for each of you. I've checked in frequently but didn't have a chance to respond - will do a better job going forward.

Things have been active for us and in fact we're presently waiting to hear if we are matched with a birth mother who we sent our profile to this week. We had a close call a couple of weeks ago when one of our agencies called on a Friday at 3pm as a birth mother was on her way to the hospital in labor but she chose a couple closer to FL where she lives. While it was overwhelming for a few hours we know that when the time is right, our baby will find us.

Have a great week everyone - I hope you're enjoying the summer!

[sarah16]

So our homestudy update is completed. Our social worker is working with three birthmoms right now, hopefully one if them picks us!!


I hope everyone is having a great summer.

[arucker]

Thanks everyone for your response back. Yes we did change agencies. We were in the middle of the homestudy with one agency just getting ready to have our first home visit when we changed our minds and decided to go with catholic charities instead. I was devestated, depressed, anxious yada, yada, yada. It just made more sense to us financially and emotionally to do something close to home even though it may take longer. We had worked so hard on trying to find a place then when they gave us out of state agencies I felt like it was starting all over again and the ICPC thing just reallly stressed me out. The other reason I was so depressed is that the homestudy process with CC doesn't start till fall sometime and I just felt I have to wait even longer now and what if I get a person I know that knows a PG women giving her baby up. Then I might miss that opportunity. So I figure I'll get the word out still that we are adopting and if we get a potential PG women that we can always finish the homestudy that we started with in the first place. That made me feel better knowing I had that option. I just hate waiting for that homestudy. My DH said it will be here before I know it. He wanted to go with CC in the first place. I guess if I would have just agreed with that in the first place I would have had at least 100 less gray hairs now. So anyway I'm glad everyone is on their way to motherhood.

[1dayatatime]

Hello Ladies,
I'm new to this niche of the forum. I post in the 40+ area and August IVF area- like gangoffour...we are both cycling in AUG. hoping for a happy IVF outcome.
However we are keeping options open and on Saturday we attended an informational meeting on Saturday for Bethany Christian Services - I was impressed and liked a lot of what I heard....we were not sure what the standpoint was in terms of 'qualifying'. God is in our lives but we are not churchgoers....not affiliated with a religion or church/pastor. When I got home I read through all the paperwork and found a statement that explains that this issue is very important in the application and so I get the impression that we are not eligible. On the one hand I understand completely but on the other hand I'm looking at yet another lead that results in not being eligible. Whether it's my age or my insurance or my income (too much to be eligible for a grant and too little to be eligible for a loan) .....every way I turn it feels like there is some reason that precludes us.
I was wondering if anyone has any knowledge or experience of Bethany and I was also wondering if anyone could PM me any info on agencies in my area - Jupiter, FL.

[gangof4]

Hi 1day! We keep bumping into each other. Why dont you call Bethany and talk to someone about it. It may not be something that excludes you. Just something that is important to them.

arucker- The Fall really isn't that far away. I know it must seem like an eternity to you right now but having the stress off must make up for it.

Sarah- Congrats on a finished homestudy! And how exciting to have 3 potential birthmoms!

Theresa- How did it go with the potential match?

Afm- My husband completed his classes and my final one is this Saturday. Our homestudy will be completed when we do a home repair and get a baby gate.

[1dayatatime]

Thanks for your reply gangof4! I called a friend of mine that I knew was involved with looking after some birth mothers and who is a great resource. Turns out this friend worked with 'P' who was the SW we met at the Bethany meeting! She highly recommended 'P'
So I called 'P' and she was very nice. I told her 'our story' She is contracted with Bethany so does not have the autority to make that decision but she is going to ask and indeed push for it. You see we have God in our lives...and i don't want to go into it in detail here but there may be certain requirements that we don't reach.
I know that 'P' will help get us on track either way....so that's good.