[rebecca0130]

parker john - what agency are you using? are your birthmother books already being circulated? We were totally on top of ours and our agency started distributing them, so when our birthmother selected us we had to light a fire under the social worker's behind to get everything moving super fast! it was crazy and exciting and nerve-wrecking - but they were wonderful.
I live in Chicago, are you nearby?

[parker john]

no birthmother portfolio ... we are adopting internationally .... hopefully Korea if all go well

I work in Chicago and live in the western suburbs ... Geneva

we still have to wait to see if the Korean agencies will accept us ... so many requirements!

[rebecca0130]

good luck to you, I hope it all goes well!

[sarah16]

Thanks so much for the updates ladies. Since I'm still working with small agencies we are in waiting mode. They won't even let us do our homestudy until we get we to the top of the list. I have been calling them every month.

[rhart]

After the frustration with the last agency meeting, we're putting a lot of stuff on the back burner. I called over a week ago to set up an appointment to talk to a case worker and she just called me back today. We're looking into foster to adopt or minimal legal risk adoption, which is not a high priority for agencies (that isn't how they make their money). I can't believe it, but I may be about to give IVF another shot.

[Kari]

jf5505,

We, too, will become parents via domestic adoption. In our state, WI, the TPR wait varies based on how long it takes to get a court date (usually around 3-4 weeks depending on county). Although that wait will be truly dreadful, our social worker explained that once the birth parents testify on the stand during the TPR it will be very secure. Most adoptive parents choose to place the baby in BridgeCare (short term foster care) during those weeks just in case.

Our social worker said 12-18 months is a typical wait. Though, a couple was selected as soon as 2 weeks, and another couple has been in "the book" for 4 years. She thinks it might be less than a year for us because of our age and because we are childless....but no one really knows.

My advice is to ask as many questions as possible to prepare yourself. During the education classes I learned a lot - For example, birthmom typically names the child (but you can legally change the name), our social worker also gave us a very realistic view of what the hospital visits may be like, and during the 6 months when the child is in our home but the agency is the legal guardians we will have to notify them when we take the baby across the border to my hometown, etc.

Is PA similar?

[jf5505]

I really don't know exactly what PAs laws are other than the 30 day wait, I don't know what to do, we like Gladney who is out of TX, but its like 42K plus home study, that is a little high for us right now.

Can anyone recommend another agency? AFTH is suppose to be a great one, but its in PA and therefore gets most of its Bmoms from PA I think.

[rebecca0130]

jf5505 - WOW, that is really expensive for Gladney, I have never heard of them.
We used Angel Adoption out of Cary, IL - they have a website - you could call. if you do, they like referrals, so email me and I will give you our names to use.
Lutheran Child and Family Services is another place in IL you can go through directly - Angel happens to work with them.
The Cradle in Evanston, is very well known, I think they do domestic and certainly are not as expensive as Gladney.

Kari, I did not know that whole court date thing in WI. And the b-parents testify! Wow, that is a lot. Maybe your agency will find a b-mom in IL. We have a reasonable wait time, court time, etc and the laws are rock solid.
If you end up with an open adoption, you will have communication with the b-mom and this is a great thing. the day our son was born, we met her at the hospital and we asked if she had a name in mind, she said she would like to know what we had in mind. After we told her, she loved it and so it was mutual. you have to legally change the name regardless - example our son was just named Baby (last name) on the first birth record, but then after we went to court, we placed his given name on the birth certificate. the 6-month thing is no big deal and you get to make all of the decisions for your child, our agency was really easy when we said we were going to Michigan. I stressed about the paperwork (and seeming red tape) but once we were in it, it was no big deal.

I am so excited for all of you

[jf5505]

Great I will look into Angel Adoption, is it a full agency? And you were very happy, right? How long was your wait?

Thanks for the advice, Adoption.com is def. not as active, wonder why!

[rebecca0130]

jf55o5 - not sure what you mean by a full agency. Angel works with Lutheran exclusively (also listed in my last post). The best way to describe what Angel is, is that they are an "advertising" part of the adoption process. Two women own and run it, they only work with 40 couples at a time, so there is no getting lost in the shuffle. The social work and paperwork is done by Lutheran and the court stuff is done by an attorney. Our attorney was Shelley Ballard, also has a website, very well known in the adoption community across the country.
We were referred to Angel by two couples who had used them. The reason we decided on them was because the wait time was so much less than other agencies, I think because they do a great deal of advertising!
We only waited 5 months - it was wonderful. I was very pleased with everyone we worked with.

Hope this helps.

[Kari]

Rebecca,

I am intrigued by Angel Adoptions. We are working with Lutheran Social Services of Wisconsin (very happy with staff and 12-15K cost). They only find birth moms from WI, however if we are able to find birth moms from other states, they can assist with the adoption. I liked the Angel Adoption web site. May I ask what their portion of the fee was? It might be worth it if we can become parents sooner!

I like the thought of an open adoption - under most circumstances it sounds like it's the best option for all involved.

Good luck with your IUI! Sending you

[parker john]

Originally Posted by jf5505

I really don't know exactly what PAs laws are other than the 30 day wait, I don't know what to do, we like Gladney who is out of TX, but its like 42K plus home study, that is a little high for us right now.

Can anyone recommend another agency? AFTH is suppose to be a great one, but its in PA and therefore gets most of its Bmoms from PA I think.

The Cradle is not as expensive as Gladney ... they are very well known

[sarah16]

I have a friend that is using the Cradle. She is very happy with her decision. I looked into Luthern in Iowa and it went up to $20K and Bethany went up to $25K. That was very disappointing since I had recommendations for both from people. We found three smaller agencies that will be no more than $15K who we will go through.

[jf5505]

Where is the Cradle? And do you know the law for that State? I will also look into them.

Why does Gladney seem so much higher than others, 42K? I think it may have something to do with them using TX law.

Thanks for all the info. its great to have others going through this, b/c I am a bit scared to go this route.

[MamaSoon]

Assuming it is the same The Cradle, it is in Evanston, IL. They are very, very established. I've been to their general meeting last november. And I see their ads on TV.