[FA4534]

I'm new to this forum. 40 years old.

We have a 3 1/2 year old boy - natural conception. No help. Happened right out of the gate. Tirst time
After trying to get pregnant since August 2006, my 43 year old husband finally went for the SA. I was tested back in September of 07.

tubes clear
Uterus good
Ovulation good
Responded to Chlomed

Only 14 million in the sample. Of the 50% sperm that were alive, about 100% were malformed - no heads. He's scheduled for a urologist in 3 weeks to do a work-up.

We're very depressed. Strangely, I'm relieved to finally know. After being 5 days late last month and was tested, I broke down in my RE's office. At that point, my husband finally agreed to get the test.

While I'm very upset that we may not have another child, I'm strangely relieved to finally find out why all our efforts failed. Is this normal? He's still in shock.

Is there hope after finding out something like this? We don't have $30,000 to do adoptions - as they can cost up to that.

[rebecca0130]

FA4534 - take your time to let it sink in - finding out news like this is always heartbreaking. We went through the same thing when we found out about my husband's condition - he was 37 years old and we had been married for 3 years - he never knew.

Please know, though, that you can have another child through adoption or sperm donor.
$30, 000 is the high end for adoption- read through this thread to see different costs. there are also grants, loans and very affordable options.
Take your time and you will know in your heart what is right for you and DH.

[jf5505]

Thanks Rebecca...yeah I think the ones that seem to place the most amount of babies is what I should shoot for.

Originally Posted by rebecca0130

jf5505 - as far as I know they all charge up front and "guarantee", (as much as they can with something that is based on Mother Nature and personal preference), a placement within 2 years. Go with the agency that has the furthest reach, most experience and shorest placement times. You will be matched with a birthmom

[mrssega]

We have decided that we will adopt at least once, regardless to whether IVF works for us. We are waiting a few months to see how IVF goes and will start the process. If we find ourselves parents around the same time to two lovely children, the better. It can be pricey, which is the main reason we have help off so far.

[sarah16]

Welcome to the new newbies on this thread. Ladies I didn't move up on the waiting list this month This waiting game is tough.

[jf5505]

Has anyone heard of CASI adoptions? I was talking to someone from another forum who used them for both her daughters and it was like 15 to 17K for her adoption and she only had to wait like 4 months and then 6 or 7 months...

[rebecca0130]

Sarah, I am so sorry about the waiting list. I didn't know there were "waiting lists" for domestic adoption. I thought it was completely up to the b-mom/b-parents to decide on the couple. HOw does yours work?

Hang in there.....

[sarah16]

The two agencies that I'm going with have a waiting list for the home study. Since they are small agencies they only deal with 10-15 families at a time. So I'm waiting just to do the homestudy.

[rebecca0130]

Got it, sorry about that. Just remember, at the right time and month, your baby will be born and you will know that this is why you had to wait.
it will be amazing.

[sarah16]

Originally Posted by rebecca0130

Got it, sorry about that. Just remember, at the right time and month, your baby will be born and you will know that this is why you had to wait.
it will be amazing.

Exactly. I keep having to remember that I can't call the shots. Thanks for the encouragement.

[jf5505]

Hey..

Just wanted to see if anyone can tell me other questions I will need to ask my Agency before we pick one? Does anyone know anything about lawyer fees if your using an agency out of state? And how to find a good homestudy place?

Thanks...

Jackie

[sarah16]

You need to ask if lawyer fees are included in the cost or not. My agency you pay for lawyers fees and the birth mothers lawyer fees out of pocket. It's not included. Your homestudy should be done by your agency or if it's out of state they can tell you who to go with in state. I would ask the agency how many couples they deal with and how many birth mothers they deal with. If the number of birth mothers is very low and couples high you might have a long wait ahead of you. I went to adoption.com which answers lots of your questions. americanadoptions.com also has some good answers.

[J*e*n*_78]

sara- sorry you are still waiting for a homestudy!! I hope you are close to being next on the waiting list!

Good luck to everyone else starting their journey now!

[sarah16]

Actually I'm off the waiting list. I started my homestudy this week!! Thanks for thinking of me.

[rebecca0130]

Sarah - that is AWESOME - woo hoo!!!
keep in touch and let us know how it all goes, so excited for you.