Originally Posted By Rene'e

Hi,
I don't know know why I decided to write this but these are my feelings and I don't know how to continue to be strong. About three weeks ago, I had a hyterectomy, one ovary was left so I could produce hormones. For some reason, I think I have entered another grieving stage even though I am in the process of adoption. (Just unsure if I will be allowed to adopt or not) But, I feel as though I have no more hope of a miracle of ever getting pregnant. Before the surgery, I always had hope that a miracle would happen and I get pregannt.
Do I seem selfish to think like that even though I may be adopting sometime in the near future?
Just the other day, I decided to watch the TLC channel, the topic was childbirth. I couldn't believe that I started to cry and I even held my stomach because I knew I would never get to experience what I was looking at on television. I must admit, even though I thought I was over it, that it still hurts.
Though I have left out certain parts, I would like to know if this is normal and will I ever get over this feeling? Are there any suggestions to help me get through this being that I am the type of person who usually keeps feelings like this to myself. It's just hard to sit and talk about something like this that will make me end up being emotional.
I think that if I wasn't allowed to adopt... if something came up for some odd reason, that I would just lose it. My dream and my support system is knowing that I may succefully adopt a little boy. If that's taken away, I don't know what I'd do. Can anyone relate?